I remember it like it was yesterday.
I was newly married and we were saving money wherever we could.
That’s why I was riding the bus to work despite that fact that we made over $100k per year as a couple.
I was at a bus stop on a highly-trafficked street in downtown Pittsburgh, 10 minutes or so early for my bus.
For some reason no one was around, which was strange.
Then he appeared.
He was homeless (or I assumed so based on his dress) and asked me for money.
I declined.
He then got closer and I could see the wild look in his eyes. I’m not sure if he was on drugs, but he seemed like it. He appeared to be crazy.
That’s when he told me he HAD to have money…or else.
I wasn’t sure what “or else” meant and certainly didn’t want to find out.
I glanced to my left and right and there was NO ONE AROUND! Where was everyone????
I told him I only had a $20 bill.
He said that was fine, he could use $20.
So not knowing what else to do and afraid the guy was going to accost me, I gave him the money.
I’m sure that $20 did him more harm than good.
I never saw him again…and I never arrived 10 minutes early for the bus again either.
Looking back on that experience, there are about 1,000 better responses I could have chosen that day. But I was caught by surprise and in a tough spot, so I froze.
What Would You Have Done?
It’s a perennial question: what should be done when panhandlers ask for money?
At one end of the spectrum there’s the “don’t give them a penny because they’ll spend it on drugs or booze” response.
On the other, there’s the “these people just need a bit to help them get by so why not help?” response.
In between there’s a whole host of options like:
- “I don’t give directly to people since I don’t know how they’ll use the money.”
- “I give advice on where the nearest food bank/shelter is.”
- “I give vouchers for food.”
- “I buy them food but never give cash.”
And on and on.
But is there a “right” answer?
Spoiler alert, I don’t think there is one right answer, so if you’re hoping for that, this piece isn’t going to deliver.
Instead I’ll share a few of my experiences and thoughts on the subject. Seems like I’ve collected many of them through the years. Hopefully these will provide some food for thought you can use when you decide how to respond.
I’ll also share what I do these days in case that helps someone.
Panhandlers on Every Corner
Today there seems to be a panhandler on every corner where there’s at least decent traffic.
I don’t remember this being a thing back in the day. Maybe I was just oblivious to it. But there certainly seems to be more “action” than ever before. Tons of people take regular places these days near stoplights and ask for money.
It’s even become a contest of who can be the best marketer. A few marketing decisions each of these panhandlers has to make:
- What sort of sign to use — Printed sign versus handwritten sign on poster paper versus handwritten sign on a torn cardboard box. BTW, the printed sign guys are way too professional-looking for me.
- What messaging to use — Lots of options here: religious, patriotic/veteran, need-based (food, shelter), just fired, etc.
- Who is with them — Asking alone or asking with some sort of support (spouse, child, dog). BTW, if someone can afford to feed a dog, they are immediately off my list of potential options.
- What to wear — Ragged clothing versus everyday wear. It’s a fine balance — you want to appear needy but not frightening.
- What extras can help — Various props such as wheel chairs, walkers, canes, casts, etc.
And, unfortunately, there’s much more.
When we lived in Oklahoma City panhandlers were everywhere. I always thought it was because the weather is warm there so there are more working days in the year. Unfortunately it’s not much better in Colorado Springs.
Not Giving Because of the Fear of Being Taken
One reason people may not give to panhandlers is because they think they are getting ripped off — that the panhandlers are really just “business people” who make $100k (tax free, BTW) asking for money. Who wants to be the sucker that gives to one of those people?
While we were in OKC there was a big news story which highlights this fear.
A guy gave money each day to a lady who “needed help.” Then one day he followed her when she left her post and saw her get into a car much nicer than his.
The resulting video of him chewing her out went viral and can be seen here along with the news story.
It appears that this concern is mostly not justified but’s it’s still an issue that keeps many from giving.
Giving Hurts Them
Another reason some non-givers cite is that giving actually does the recipient more harm than good.
The OKC video article linked above says that most of the people asking for money are not using it for something productive:
According to the Homeless Alliance only about 20% of panhandlers are actually homeless.
“By far the majority of panhandlers we see are panhandling for cash, typically to support unhealthy behaviors, often alcoholism and other addictions.” said Dan Straughan-Executive Director of the Homeless Alliance.
That’s why they encourage people to give out vouchers they have had made up instead with information about shelters, a map and bus ticket to get there.
Turns out Tim Ferriss has similar reasons for not giving.
Here are his thoughts when he was interviewed by Stephen Dubner from Freakonomics:
DUBNER: You’re visiting New York now, which you do pretty regularly. It’s not uncommon to run into someone on the street asking for money. So it seems like everybody, over the course of their life, develops some kind of standard strategy for that scenario. What’s yours?
FERRISS: I do not give money, and I’ll tell you why. I at one point paid a homeless gentleman in San Francisco to give me a tour of the entire sort of homeless underground in San Francisco.
DUBNER: What did you pay him?
FERRISS: It was through a service that I think is no longer around*. I think it was called Vayable? V-a-y-a-b-l-e. It was maybe 50, a hundred bucks, something like that? And he was very explicit and he said, “You should never give homeless people money.” And he showed me exactly where they—
DUBNER: Right, says the homeless guy who’s getting paid by the agency.
FERRISS: Who is getting money. So, right, you have to take that into account. But he walked me through the Tenderloin, through all these different areas, and he pointed out where to get clothing, where to get housing, where to get blankets, where to get food, where to get all these resources, and he said, anyone who is asking for money is doing so to buy drugs or alcohol.
This seems to support the conclusion above but comes at it from a different angle.
If the intention is to help the panhandler, then giving to them might be the worst thing for them — or so the line of thinking goes.
Colorado Springs Homeless Ministry
We’ve seen a bit of this sort of thing up close and personal.
My wife and daughter used to volunteer for a ministry that handed out food to the homeless.
They would then talk to the people in an attempt to try and “help” them.
Their intent was to assist people in getting off the streets, into a job, and so forth.
Turns out the homeless people liked being homeless and didn’t want to change anything.
In fact, the ministry was HELPING them remain homeless. With food, supplies, coats, etc. provided, the homeless were quite comfortable without a home, job, and so forth.
So my wife and daughter gave up “helping” since they felt it was counter-productive.
Thoughts from the Street
Recently a friend of mine posted his panhandling experiences on Facebook.
He works at a church and runs a program that tries to find people jobs. He’s also a very thoughtful person and truly wants to help others (as you’ll be able to see by the lengths he goes to).
I asked him if I could use it and he gave me permission.
Here’s what he had to say:
Having an eye for humor and irony (as you know if you know me), yesterday I posted a pic of a panhandler standing in the midst of dozens of businesses, several of which I knew were hiring, and shared that I’ve observed this a lot.
I’ve seen people holding signs asking for money while standing next to people getting paid to hold a sign advertising a store sale.
I’ve seen guys holding signs while standing in construction zones.
A few years ago I posted a pic of one of those instances, and the HR manager of the construction company, who is a friend, saw it and said they would have hired the guy on the spot if he had really wanted a job.
So anyway, I shared this observation and it led to some very good discussions but it also led some folks to feel I wasn’t compassionate or that I was judging the person because I didn’t know their situation.
I can see how my post may have come across that way, and I apologize for that. Maybe it wasn’t worth posting, or maybe it required more context or a suggestion on what could be done to help.
Most of the people I know who have worked in homeless crisis intervention for decades in GR will tell you that the last thing you should do is give panhandlers money. Because it perpetuates the problem and creates more panhandlers. If it didn’t “pay” people would stop doing it.
Some of these leaders claim that the majority of panhandlers are “professionals” – that’s all they do day after day, year after year. They say this from experience of engaging with them, offering them jobs, etc.
I’m not saying they are all like that, and I’m not saying we shouldn’t do something to help them at all. In fact, I have some ideas of how our church could engage more with them and connect them to jobs through our job fair and a staffing agency that will be coming into our church soon. I’m just sharing their observation based on experience.
To know how to really help, we need discernment. Read Olasky’s “The Tragedy of American Compassion” or anything by Bob Lupton to learn what I mean. When we encounter situations where people are asking for help, the best way to truly help is to engage with them and learn about their situation, and that takes time.
I’ve learned to ask questions that try to get into their mind or get ahead of them a bit to cut through the crap, if there is any. For example, I can’t tell you the number of times someone’s hit me up over the years saying they ran out of gas. I could say, “sure, here’s a few bucks” or I could say, “hey, where’s your car? Let me give you a ride.” To which everyone so far has said, “ah no, man, that’s OK. If you can just help me out with a few bucks I can make it.”
So I’ve learned to think ahead and offer to go the extra mile. Because if they really do need money for gas, they need a ride, they need a gas can, and they need gas. Most people probably wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that, but I’ve never had a problem with it.
Last week I was in Detroit for a conference. I was walking with some fellow team members and a lady asked us for money. I asked her “Hey, what are you working on?” And she said she was hungry and wanted something to eat. I asked her what her name was, told her mine, and invited her into the nearby 7-11 to buy her a sandwich. As we walked out, she went over to her friends standing outside, and we noticed they didn’t seem too excited about the sandwich I just bought for her. We watched as we walked down the road a few blocks and she never ate the sandwich. Maybe later, who knows?
On Monday my wife and I were about to walk into a restaurant and a guy asked if I could help him out with some gas. I asked him what the situation was and he said his wife had an interview at a store near where we were and they didn’t have much gas to get home. I decided not to probe too much since we were supposed to be meeting people at the restaurant, so I left my wife at the restaurant and offered to meet him at the nearby Meijer gas station, where I pumped $7 in gas.
Later I thought, I wonder if his gas gauge was really on E? Who knows?
Tonight I went out for a run and my turn-around spot was at a CVS. It’s 10:00 pm, and as I get a block or two away from CVS I hear a guy yelling at me, asking me to stop. His name is William and he has a story about how his car broke down but it is being towed and he gave the tow guy $290 which gives him a tow and a rental and he just needs $20 more and can I help him?
I told him I don’t carry cash when I run. I offered to let him use my phone and he said that’d be great since his wife works at Lowes…he could call her and see if he can get her debit card, and then maybe I could drive him over there to get it. But the line’s busy. I tell him I can give him a ride but it’d take me 15 minutes to get back home to get the car and then get back to him. And the tow truck guy is waiting a couple of miles away, and he has $290 of his money, but won’t help him until he gets just $20 more.
I get home, get the car, drive down to CVS and meet him. Offer to let him use my phone again to call his wife who works at Lowes but the line is still busy. Then a guy walks up to the Red Box and William goes out to ask him for some money (pictured). Then he comes back and asks me to please give him $20 and then he will give me $60, he promises, in the future.
I tell him no, but I’d be glad to give him a ride to get his debit card from his wife. He says, you know, my sister-in-law is working at Meijer, so let’s go there and I’ll see if I can get some money from her. Then I say, wow, you’ve got your wife working at Lowes, but now you want to go see your sister-in-law at Meijer, and he says yeah, I’m not sure if my wife is at work or not.
So I take him to Meijer and offer to wait for him but he says, no, that’s OK, I’ll see if she can give me a ride. I pull around to another part of the parking lot and sit for a few minutes and watch William.
He doesn’t enter the store, but talks with several people coming and going, presumably asking them for money.
So there you have some of my experiences with people “in need” this week…asking some questions…trying to figure out what I should do to help. I hope I can get it right more often than not.
Interesting, huh?
Helping the Poor
The situation is certainly frustrating. Despite the objections detailed above, many people (me, my friend, my family, etc.) want to help others who are needy. We have been very blessed in our lives and want to spread around help and opportunity for those who haven’t received as much.
And yet it’s very difficult to tell the real needs from the fakers.
So what is a sincere person supposed to do? I don’t want to give up helping simply because some are dishonest or using gifts for less-than-useful purposes.
First of all, we do not give to panhandlers directly. We say “no” and sometimes give them information on the places that provide support in our community. It just seems like pouring money down the drain to help at this level.
Instead we opt to help by both giving to and serving with organizations that help the poor.
They are better equipped at vetting who to give to and what to give.
IMO this combination is a much better response than what I had in Pittsburgh all those years ago. It also allows us to be part of the solution while avoiding (as best we can) the con-men.
Fin Con Work Line
One other experience that’s kind of related and fairly recent pertains to this subject.
I went to Fin Con, the financial media conference, in October.
While I was there, the hotel hosted a job fair.
We came upstairs one day (our conference was on the ground floor) and found HUNDREDS of people standing in a line that wrapped throughout the hotel (and this was a huge hotel) all for the chance to apply for a job.
It was a surreal moment. On one floor you had millionaires, multi-millionaires, people retiring in their 30’s, and so on. On the other you had people who often looked close to being homeless standing in a line for hours hoping to find work.
It was heart-breaking to see this many people so desperate for work.
But it was also inspiring. These people had not given up and were going to do whatever it took to find work.
I’ve been thinking about those people a lot and would love to help them somehow. Perhaps my future giving and volunteer efforts will involve people like them. Time will tell.
So, that’s a lot of information on how to deal with panhandlers. Now’s your turn.
What do you think of the issue? And how do you handle it when you’re personally asked for money?
Yeah panhandlers can sometime be intimidating. I had one come running to my car and banged my windows and asked for money. When I said no, he ran to the next car and did the same thing.
They can also be unappreciative. Not too long ago, a lady asked me for money, she said her kids were hungry so I emptied my bag and gave her all the cash I had (about $10) and her response was « That’s all? » . Was planning to bring her more the next day, but after that response, I didn’t bother.
Ouch, “that’s all?” Not so nice, and not a very strategic panhandler either. Kind of you to give her everything in your wallet!
San Francisco might be the #1 city for panhandlers. It’s embarrassing that we have residents who are worth BILLIONS hoarding their wealth and not doing more to help their neighbors imo.
Not sure what the solution is. Jobs, infrastructure, and education? But if everybody pitched in to do one thing, things do get better. Mine contribution besides money is being a weekly foster kid mentor.
Sam
We see panhandlers at intersections near stores we frequent and our kids used to ask about them, that was a challenging topic to discuss because we weren’t sure how to frame it in a way that made sense to them. They’re still young (6 and 4) so work is a nebulous concept to them but we explained that we don’t give to panhandlers and instead opt to donate our money to organizations that help fight homelessness.
Great post on a complex topic. I grew up in the tough neighborhoods of inner-city Baltimore, so I have TONS of experience with this. Back then as now, you can’t walk a block in many of the Baltimore neighborhoods without being asked. And unfortunately sometimes they simply rob you when you say “no”.
I too refuse, mainly because of my experiences as well. In that environment it is very likely that the person is using the money to feed an addiction. My friend who still lives there carries around 7-11 gift cards which is probably a better solution. The stores are everywhere. But unfortunately they still sell cigarettes and lottery tickets, but nothings perfect.
i really enjoy your blog and have been reading it for a long time. This is my first comment. I’m female so I don’t feel comfortable doing what your friend does. But I do wonder whether these people he’s encountered, who appear to be trying to swindle him, actually do need help – just not the kind they’re asking for? Could this be a mental health issue? I cannot imagine someone choosing the life of homelessness if they have all their mental faculties intact – I certainly wouldn’t chose to live on the street and panhandle if I had other options, would you? So maybe we’re talking undiagnosed mental conditions, in which case these people still deserve our compassion and help.
It’s really difficult to say, which is one of the main issues impacting how to respond: there’s no clear answer.
Most likely, each situation is different. Some are mentally ill, some are crooks, and some are just people down on their luck. That’s what makes it difficult to pick a “right” response.
I used to be a volunteer coordinator at a homeless shelter and got to know most of our residents. It should be noted that there is a difference between the transitional homeless and the chronic homeless in terms of their condition. For the chronic homeless, It is true that they by and large want to remain homeless. But the major reason why they want to be homeless is most of them have severe mental illness. The reason we have such a large homeless problem isn’t that they don’t want to work, or their lazy, or something else to do with their drive. It’s because our health care system, and especially our mental health care system is severely broken. Our social safety net is also severely broken in terrms of the social infrastructure to ensure that someone is tracking these people and making sure they care they need is also severely broken.
There is a reason why other industrialized countries do not have the homelessness that we do in the United States. It is because of the policies that we enact and the priority we give to funding our social infrastructure. If you really want to help the homeless, get at the cause, give to those organizations that not only provide food or shelter, but also provide a case worker and access to mental illness treatment as well.
What sort of organizations would those be? I can name several that help with food and shelter, but none that provide a case worker and mental illness treatment.
My philosophy on this subject continues to evolve. I used to avoid panhandlers at all costs, and get frustrated at my perception of what bad things they might do with the money. The spiritual side of me now tries to give something small ($1-$5) and not care how they use it. My faith tells me to help those who are in need and not to judge them. One of my favorite bible verses says “whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers, you did for me”. I also choose to support larger homeless organizations with financial and volunteer contributions.
I do the same Jumbo. The Bible is clear that we should give and trust God to judge. It also says we are responsible for what God entrusted us with, and that we need to be shrewd about such things. I suggest that people lean on the Holy Spirit to guide them in each situation and trust God. Furthermore we should pray for these people as they are all God’s children and obviously need help of some kind. Bless you and Merry Christmas.
As you highlighted, there can be numerous options and circumstances to consider. We typically will handout gift-cards to a local restaurant or store that offers food and other necessities.
Overall, each situation is different. There are a whole lot of variables and pros/cons to consider for any approach or perspective.
I think your plan is pretty solid, ESI.
When I was in college in Baltimore my friends and I were hit up all the time by aggressive panhandlers. There was one guy who got between my friend and I and wouldn’t stop on his pitch asking for something. Normally I keep walking and pick up the pace and that works but my friend decides to stop and tell him, “I wish you the best of luck.” Well the guy basically goes ballistic when he hears that and starts repeating it louder and louder while becoming more agitated and cursing between saying the words. It looked like it may have gotten physically assaulting so we hi-tailed it out of there.
Another time I gave a homeless guy a piece of fruit (I think it was a banana) and he got really angry and threw it down on the ground.
Here in Asia the beggars are professional and work for the local mafia that takes a cut of the take. It is sad to see people with young babies (not sure if it is theirs or otherwise) that are normally sleeping all the time or people with disabilities or even crawling on their belly and missing limbs. But careful notice of who is in different places during the week and over what hours indicates that this is as much shift work as a factory job and once I saw the truck drive by that picked them up at the end of the shift.
It’s sad too that even if there is a bona fide panhandler in need of assistance the business is effectively tarnished by all the professional charlatans out there.
-Mike
I stick with the I do not have cash strategy which is almost always true. We donate to charities because then at least there is some accountability. Here in Cali it is a big issue and I am not sure there is a solution. This is a problem as old as human kind.
I just attended a funeral this week for a gentleman who kept ziplock bags in his car which contained a bottle of water, a couple of power bars, a pair of socks, toothbrush and chapstick. At the end of the service, the family had the items for each of us to make a bag and pass out in his honor.
Being cynical, my first thought is that many of these bags will probably be thrown away once the recipient discovers it doesn’t contain any cash. However, this does seem to be a better solution than ignoring them or giving cash.
My wife has prepared a supply of zip lock bags to give to people begging on traffic islands. They contain shampoo and toothpaste (gleaned from hotels we’ve stayed in), a can of baked beans or similar, plastic spoon, and a bible verse. Never money but things they can presumably use.
Great post, and it could have been written in 1980. All those hustle-stories have happened to me, or someone close to me. I went to school and worked in downtown L.A. for decades, and I’ve seen it all (including dead bodies and drug-deals happening just feet away from uniformed police).
The biggest thing that has occurred in society is the rise of ‘virtue-signaling.’ Panhandling and homelessness, as issues, have been hijacked by Social Justice Warriors (SJWs) as yet another way to separate society. Panhandling and homelessness is a lifestyle, and there is no longer any shame to it. Sad to say, but it is a ‘best option’.
OK, one story. In 1984 I was walking near Skid Row and a bum walked up alongside me seemingly oblivious and talking to himself. “What am I, Big Ben?” He caught my eye, and explained how he was just asking the time and somebody rudely replied to him. He had engaged me, and I was trapped for his pitch which I declined.
In 2006, I was walking near City Hall (six blocks from Skid Row), and a bum walked up alongside me, “what am I, Big Ben?” I looked over. Same guy.
Tough subject. Most of the time I do not give cash to individuals (often I’m not carrying any) donating to charities instead. I donate time and money to a local women and children’s shelter. It’s heart-wrenching at times to say no to providing cash, so I try to help in other ways.
I was blown away at that line of applicants at FinCon and I’m sure I’ll never forget it. As you mentioned, sad and inspiring at the same time.
I am conflicted by this because I know a lot of what you say is true. If I do see someone is hungry or something and I am going into a place I will actually pick up some food for them. 80% of the time they are grateful and eat it right there. I don’t know if that means anything, but they definitely consume the food. I would prefer to give directly to a charity though or donate items from our house or even volunteer. Maybe that is why one of the charities we support has to do with rescue animals. We know those animals are homeless and need our help.
Great subject. I used to work in downtown LA, just blocks from the homeless shelter. After being approached every day to and from work I finally learned to not make eye contact. That cut almost half of the requests out.
I give generously to reputable charities that help the poor (with 0% going to admin overhead), but I never give money directly to a pan handler. When asked I just shake my head and say simply, “No, sorry.” and keep going.
I have visited and stayed in San Diego, San Francisco, Chicago and LA for period of time for work. In California they call them “street people”. By far the most aggressive were in LA then San Fran then San Diego then Chicago.In Hollyweird I was first asked if I had any cigarettes then asked for money. Ugh. I am from the Detroit area and the street people are at least considerate. I had one person ask me for 53 cents which I found odd. He said he wanted a Payday candy bar that was 50 cents and 3 cents for sales tax. I gave him a dollar.
One coworker laughed and asked me why I acknowledge them when they ask. Because I can’t just blindly walk by. Sad.
I feel sorry for the homeless but I will not give money or food to any that I see hanging out by the local supermarket or bus stops. I do not want them to be rewarded for stopping in my neighborhood or have them sleeping on our bus stops or on the beach where my grandchildren hang out.
Our city mayor asked for people to stop feeding the homeless in city parks for the same reason. If you want to give, give money, food or service time to those organizations who work with the homeless and try to get them off the street.
Interesting post, especially this time of year. Don’t normally encounter panhandlers these days except this past weekend. Hubby & I went to a sporting event and there were panhandlers all around the area. Fortunately there were more than enough people around that we could say sorry, no and they would move on. That’s my way of handling it these days. About 25 years ago I was sponsoring a young woman in a recovery program. She asked me to give her $200 for a deposit on an apartment. Her reason was that she had to move out because her mother’s drinking was threatening her ability to stay clean. Needless to say I never saw her or the money ever again. Lesson learned. I give directly to a charity now.
I do not give cash to the homeless, as the majority (50% to 60%) of homeless in my area have addiction issues.
I donate on a monthly basis to a local non-profit that assists the homeless with job placement, finding affordable housing, and maintaining a financially responsible lifestyle. Like you said, this non-profit is much better equipped to vet the needy from the fraudsters.
I don’t give to panhandlers often but I think I will less often.
I gave to a panhandler in Charlotte (at FINCON ’15, actually). My wife and I had a talk afterward about it. She was a lot more perceptive about it than I was at the time; she saw right through it and knew that this was “his job” and was going to pass him by.
Sure enough … we went back to Charlotte to see Billy Joel in concert, passed the same area … and he was still there.
The guy asked me if I could give him some money. I told him I already had, and walked on.
Live and learn …
When I used to work in New York City, I would see the same panhandlers daily as I would walk to my subway station. One man would lay on the ground, dirty and unkempt, moaning miserably and speaking non-sensically. He had a prime spot, right in front of H&H Bagels. One day I was walking by at the same time one of his friends approached. He got up, brushed himself off, shook his friend’s hand and started having a congenial conversation. I almost fell over I was so shocked. No longer. I do think that there are quite a few mentally ill homeless people, but as you have pointed out, giving them cash on the spot is not usually the answer.
I work in Washington, DC and get hit up for cash probably 5-10 times a day. Sometimes the same guy that asked for cash 5 minutes ago comes back around the block and asks again. I now just tell them the truth, I don’t carry cash. I’ve only had one guy challenge me and ask to see my wallet. True enough….no cash. I suspect I’m becoming callous, but its always the same guys with a different spin on a story day after day.
Are you a lobbyist? Those Senators can be pushy!;-)
My own impression (backed up by most of what I’ve read on the subject) is that giving them cash is not a good idea because it only perpetuates the problem.
Instead, I give to my preferred charities, since I assume that they direct the money better.
Working in NYC I encounter this multiple times daily. I don’t give. I have no idea who needs the money. I’ve heard of people that are making $100K tax free panhandling. I like your idea about giving to charities that help the homeless.
I ended talking to a guy who said he had an interview and needed to trim his hair and beard. Iended up going into a CVS and bought the guy a set of hair clippers. He said he would try and give other homeless haircuts. Cost me $30. Hope it worked out. There is another guy that hangs out by my office and I have brought him coffee from the office once or twice when cold. I usually just say I don’t have any cash on me, which I normally don’t. I have bought sandwiches for others as well.
Yes, this is a tough issue. I’ve told people “No” a lot, and been duped several times that I know about, and probably more that I don’t. I’ve learned to just decline unless prompted by the Holy Spirit, and to support charities that can discern the real need better than I can. And even then, it is an imperfect system. I saw plenty of misery while helping to distribute supplies in the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, but also plenty of people who did not need help but were there to get free stuff. I was really shocked at the dishonesty I witnessed. But I believe our task is to follow God’s leading on when and how to help, and let Him handle those who are taking advantage of others’ generosity.
I probably would’ve done the same- given the guy whatever I had before I got assaulted.
I’ve seen people dressed as homeless, standing at intersections with signs and then at 3 pm, a Cadillac escalade picks them up…..Yeah.
We have people who now stand at our church with signs. They wait for us as we exit the doors!! The priest is European and feels it is ok for them to do this. We, the parishioners, do not feel the same. Most of us donate our time to food banks, homeless shelters and various other projects that helps those in need. The word has gotten out and more people are showing up with signs. It’s like a picket line at times. Our church runs a food bank and hands out fliers on where to get financial assistance, shelter, car services, medical/dental services, etc….Apparently, this is not what they want!
Even when my family was in poverty, we didn’t stand at our church or any intersection. We WORKED. Despite not making enough and job losses/illnesses, I went to the food bank and got assistance for my family. Never, did we ask or expect money from strangers. God provided what we needed and I learned through my doctor and online that there were services for us. I do feel for people who are in need but they must seek help in their own community. And go through the legal channels (some require SS # and validation of citizenship) to obtain it.
Thanks for this entry. Very timely for me. I recently changed jobs from a suburban campus (with no panhandlers anywhere) to an urban office where there are countless highly educated, highly compensated people all around, interspersed with panhandlers, prostitution, drug use, etc.
I had a strategy a couple of months ago of carrying a few $10 Subway gift cards with me to give them something to eat. Two problems with this:
* My wife pointed out to me that the panhandler can sell my gift card pretty easily and get alcohol or drugs, giving the gift card instead of cash is just one step of disintermediation which is easy to work around for someone who is desperate enough to do so
* Once word got around that I had gift cards and was giving, I suddenly became a target that panhandlers would try to pick out
I agree with the person who said that the best thing you can do for these people is really engage with them, which is hard to do. Maybe the easiest way to start is to just acknowledge them, say hi, ask their name. This at least gives them validation that they are human and part of the community.
I heard a Tim Ferriss podcast episode with Dr. Phil Zombardo, titled, “How Not to Be Evil.” Dr. Zombardo is most famously known for the 1971 Stanford Prison Experiment. The experiment was conducted to study the psychological effects of perceived power where college students were used to portray guards and prisoners. The experiment had to be shut down after 6 days because of the cruel treatment. They discovered when people are stripped of identity, they become more willing to accept all kinds of inhumane abuse.
Anyways, in the Tim Ferriss interview, Dr. Zombardo shared how he applies what he has learned when meeting homeless people. He simply introduces himself, shakes their hand, asks their name and maybe gives them a buck and says nice to meet you_______(insert name), I wish it could be more. I personally have tried this several times only to be met with tears. There is something about calling someone by their name and, of course,
the human touch of a handshake.
Whenever I go into the city (SF), I always bring a couple of granola bars with me (that I buy heavily discounted.. because, frugal). If someone has a sign that says “hungry”…or anything that’s related to food (v. just money) I’m happy to give a bar. Once I gave a bar to a younger looking guy and he was genuinely like “wow! I love this kind”. It was really refreshing.
My parents are big water bottle people so they always have a few extra they carry around and like to pass those out. It’s nice to help out some of the homeless – especially those that seem to have mental and/or physical disabilities which likely prevents them from being able to get the help they need and access services. I’m always happy to give them a snack and they always seem appreciative!
The worst is the panhandlers on BART – I hate to say it, but I honestly just pretend they don’t exists (which consistently makes me feel like a terrible human being). The BART panhandlers are some of the pushiest people I’ve ever dealt with.
Good article and anecdotes, handling pandhandlers is not something I’ve put much thought into, being from a small town and not seeing them much. Thanks!
Google “Federal Income Tax Receipt” and check out how much of your tax bill goes to social programs; you will see that you gave at the office or via your return. Your state tax bill likely looks similar. Beyond that, I only give to high quality charities, some of which support the homeless through structured programs. Never be intimidated by a panhandler, and if you do feel threatened by one, retreat and call a cop.
Sorry to sound like a cold hearted bastard, but this is what life has taught me in my 50+ years.
When we were paying off our debt we drove a 1991 Mercury Grand Marquis we bought off my Grandma. One day I pulled up to a stop light and a panhandler who was working that corner took one look at my car and walked around me to the black SUV behind me. I am sure he figured that whoever was driving that old (paid for) Hooptie couldn’t afford to give him a dollar, but the guy with the car payment could. I really liked that old car. It was our solution to panhandlers.
So basically our solution is to look poorer than the panhandlers:)
Our solution is to look poorer than the panhandlers. When we were paying off debt we drove a 1991 Mercury Grand Marquis. We bought it off my Grandma. One day I pulled up to a stop light and a panhandler took one look at my car and walked way around me. He went to the new black SUV behind me. I guess he thought the guy with the car payment could afford more than I could in my paid for Hooptie car. I really liked that car.
Randomly browsing on Pinterest and saw this topic. Really interesting and well thought out. I have only been bothered for change a few times in my life directly. Most of it was in San Francisco and yes the Tenderloin area is very very seedy.
I don’t give panhandlers cash, but if I have an extra penny dime or quarter I give it to them. Most likely I’ll lose that change or drop it somewhere so I just do a quick analysist. I like my panhandlers to be women, but that’s just my bias! It wouldn’t surprise me if some panhandlers make $100k but I strongly not think that’s the norm for handler’s
Hello,
Are you still in the Springs? If so, I’d enjoy meeting with you for coffee sometime. I’ve been involved with homeless services for several decades and am kind of embarrassed at how it has evolved into a major industry here. Our agencies do good work for those trying to leave the streets but also enable a sizeable population of vagrants. Care to get together?
Hey, Matthew.
Yes, I’m in the Springs. Not interested in a meeting at this point.
I have something big in the works already. Stay tuned to see what it is near the beginning of November.