Win the Retirement Game: Beating Uncertainty, Complacency, and Obligations

Today I’m continuing my thoughts on the retirement book, Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy

So far, here are the posts in this series:

If you missed any of those you may want to go back and read them as they all build upon each other.

And we’ll be giving away a copy of the book at the end of this post. Be sure to check that out if you’re interested.

We’re coming down to the end of this book so to move us along a bit I’m going to cover three chapters in this post, focusing only on the highlights (and my comments).

Fighting Uncertainty

The first chapter (7) we’ll cover talks about uncertainty and has these over-riding thoughts (followed by my comments on each):

Dealing with uncertainty is part of the reality in transitioning to retirement. It heightens anxiety and fear of the unknown.

The thing about retirement is that it’s the vast unknown.

It’s not like we do it frequently and thus know the ins and outs.

It’s a one-time event (entering retirement originally) that comes after 50 or 60 years of life, most of it spent working.

So because it’s completely foreign to us, it creates uncertainty.

Add to that is there are a lot of other emotions and concerns during this time. A few notable ones:

People stress because it’s like jumping off a financial cliff. It’s a multi-million dollar decision that, if you get wrong, could end up very badly.
There are concerns about what the person will do with all his time. Will he be able to cope without a job being the primary part of his routine?
How will the retiree’s spouse and close family members be impacted?
And what about the loss of prestige — especially for those heavy-hitter, C-suite types, doctors, military officers, and the like. Who are they without their careers?

There’s more, but you get the idea. All this creates a ton of uncertainty and stress on the retiree.

I remember it well. Even though I was pretty sure I had enough money and plenty of things to keep me busy, it was nerve-wracking for me. I had never not worked — it was a completely new world!

I remember walking the neighborhood the first day or so after I retired and feeling so strange. It was like the police were going to pull up any minute and arrest me for doing something illegal — because I WASN’T AT WORK! Hahahaha.

I remember being in this sort of fog, wondering what life would really be like and what my future held.

It was like that for about five days — the first work week. Then I realized that I was completely FREE and the joy set in. Pure joy!

I got up at 5 am (or earlier) for the first few years after that because I was so happy to have my life and time to myself. Those were glorious days!

The “Christmas morning” effect has worn off after a decade, but I am still thrilled to be retired and thankful I didn’t wait any longer than I did. (BTW, I sleep in until 6 am these days…lol.)

Some people are less tolerant of uncertainty. It can lead them to feel stuck and unsure of where to go next because they see many options and many threats. One way to beat uncertainty is to break challenges down into smaller parts to be more doable and less overwhelming.

I do like the idea of breaking things down into small steps (see Make Small Progress Every Day for details). It’s a great way to move your life forward without making the journey seem risky.

But even more than that, the people who are less tolerant of uncertainty need to plan more extensively for retirement.

They need to be sure they test out their retirement activities while they are still working so they have several to choose from once they retire.

They need to create mock-up calendars before retirement so they can see how their days will be spent.

They need to talk to their spouses and family members prior to retiring to consider the new way things will be.

The key is they need to do all this in advance of retiring. These will help to reduce the uncertainty (or at least the stress associated with it) and make their retirement much smoother.

Self-efficacy positions you as the central agent of change, ultimately in control of your future direction, not your circumstances. Anyone can develop a sense of self-efficacy at any age, but it’s wise to renew it as you enter transitions in life.

Uh, what?

LOL.

I had to look up self-efficacy. Google has it meaning “your belief in your own ability to succeed in specific situations and accomplish specific tasks.” Ok, I can be on board with that. I agree that you are in charge of your life and you need to take charge of it. If you go with the flow, you’ll get go with the flow results — which are generally average at best.

So, what’s the problem again? Oh yes, being too passive…

Instead of being a passive time, retirement is a time where you need to grab life with gusto and mold it into what you want it to be. It really is a time where you can do a lot that you once thought you’d never do. This is because you have a very valuable asset in retirement — time. And with time, you can do quite a bit.

There are several ways to strengthen self-efficacy. Engage in reflection through practices like starting a journal. Reappraise your capabilities in light of the new phase of life you’re entering and identify any adjustments that may be needed. Find role models who are succeeding at doing what you’d like to do. Taking on new challenges or rebounding from setbacks can powerfully impact your self-efficacy by providing proof of your capabilities.

Here’s something I can support: “Find role models who are succeeding at doing what you’d like to do.”

It burns my britches to see how many people these days follow “gurus” who have no idea what they are talking about nor any experience (let alone success) with the topic they claim to be an expert in. And yet, because they have a flashy presentation or fun takes, people follow them like they will actually help to accomplish something. What the heck?

No, no, no. You want to follow people who have actually done what you want to do. That’s why I do Millionaire Interviews — to show real-life examples of how people became wealthy. Same with Retirement Interviews showing the way to retire well (we have far fewer of these, but many examples in the MMM forums in addition to what I publish here.)

In my post Mainstream Financial Experts Are Experts at Creating the Illusion of Competence I include this quote from Tim Ferriss:

It’s important in almost every area but certainly in the world of financial planning and advice to ensure that the person giving the advice has done what they are suggesting or has some practice putting their words into action because otherwise they haven’t stress-tested their ideas or at the very worst they are a hypocrite and they’re doing the opposite of them.

Consider yourself warned.

Find someone (or several someones) who have actually retired successfully, listen to their thoughts, take what works for you, and apply it to your life to have a successful retirement yourself!

If only there was a group with successful mentors in it that you could join…hahahahaha.

Beating Complacency

In chapter 8 the book addresses the opponent of complacency.

What overcomes complacency? Challenge!

What does that mean? We’ll get to it in a minute.

Here are three of their takeaways from the chapter and my thoughts:

Rethink how you could use your free time, even while you’re still in your full-time working years. Investigate different areas of interest, including things you still love doing. Experiment with other options. One may evolve into a Serious Pursuit, offering multiple benefits, including fulfillment and new social relationships.

I’m a big fan of planning for retirement before you retire (not while you’re in it — BEFORE you get there). Check out my series on the book Retirement Starts Today for specifics.

I’ve had a few challenging activities during my retirement. The main ones that have endured for most of the time I’ve been retired are running a business (ESI Money, Rockstar Finance, and MMM) and pickleball. They each have their own unique sets of challenges that make them both fun and interesting.

One challenge I created for myself didn’t turn out so well: moving to Florida. Boy, was that a rocky road! But we’ve landed well, so thankfully that’s behind us.

Don’t stand pat. Explore opportunities for lifelong learning. Start small, before yourself out of your comfort zone and add the right level of challenge into your life.

I’m a big fan of lifelong learning.

My main ways of learning are reading (books, audiobooks, online), watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, and being part of the Millionaire Money Mentors (those folks will keep you on your toes! lol.)

As for the future, I may want to take a class or two…or even teach. You know, there’s no better way to really learn a subject than to teach it!

Alignment matters. If you’re married or in a relationship, talk with your spouse or partner about their hopes, dreams, and fears about retirement. Their answers may surprise you. Talking about where you may want to live in retirement can be especially useful as it unveils core values and what’s most important to each of you at this stage of life.

Hahaha. Talking about where we wanted to live got me in that Florida mess! lol

But like many bad events in life, it turned out for the better as we found a place both we and our daughter/son-in-law love.

But yes, retirement is a team sport, so you need to bring your spouse into the loop very early on…like when you’re first planning for retirement.

Overcoming Obligations

We end this post by looking at chapter 9 which deals with obligations weighing you down in retirement.

Obligations are those “have to’s” in life — often put on you by others, but are also ones you put on yourself.

The answer to defeating these? Find your calling. Some might call this a passion or your mission.

The book defines a calling as “doing work out of a sense of interdirection – work that would contribute to a better world.”

I’ve been round and round with this sort of thing for the past decade and I’m not buying it 100%. The way they are describing a calling to me sounds like an obligation — because you have to help someone, be a do-gooder in some way, etc. And if you don’t, you’re not “winning the retirement game.”

I’m in the camp that your “calling” or “passion” (or whatever you want to call it) doesn’t have to benefit anyone…other than you. It’s something that excites you and gets you up in the morning.

It could be volunteering at a soup kitchen or playing golf. It could be reading to kids at school or watching your grandchild. It could be serving on a governmental committee or keeping your garden looking beautiful. Whatever excites you can be your calling in my book.

The book has these takeaways from the chapter:

A calling is something you become engaged with that creates meaning for you and contributes to the greater good.

“Contributes to the greater good.” This is the part I disagree with. Does playing golf contribute to the greater good? Probably not, but it’s the reason many people have great retirements.

More specifically, I disagree that you have to contribute to the greater good in retirement to win the retirement game (it could be that the definition of a “calling” has to do with the greater good.)

I think you need to do you. Whatever excites you, motivates you, gets you out of bed and active — that’s what you need more of in retirement.

If it contributes to the greater good, that’s a bonus. But it doesn’t have to.

Callings can be either paid or unpaid work. More people report having a calling then you might expect. Calling are sometimes pursued in retirement, and retirees today are pursuing a wide range of callings.

This makes callings seem like they aren’t mandatory in retirement — which I would agree with.

So I’m getting some mixed messages here. lol.

Callings are usually discovered over time through careful listening. To hear a calling, create some quiet, reflective time away from the world of daily life and tune into your inner voice.

This is turning into a bit more woo-woo than I’m used to or comfortable with.

As I said, take a calling or leave a calling. As long as you find things that excite you, you’ll be good in retirement.

I can agree that you don’t want to be weighed down by obligations — especially ones thrust upon you by other people.

Well, that’s it for today. Stay tuned for the last post in this series coming up soon.

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As I said above, I’m giving away a copy of Win the Retirement Game on every post I do about the book. Here’s how to you can enter:

Leave a comment below telling me what you liked best about this post, what you think you can use, or something you learned from it. Basically just share anything meaningful related to the content above (note: “please enter me to win” and similar comments will not be considered out of pure weakness! At least put a bit of effort into it!) This should be fun!
Be sure to leave your email address when you leave the comment so I will know how to reach you if you win (the email address will not be visible to anyone other than me).
The winners will be selected by me at random a few days after this post goes live. I’ll announce who wins in my own comment.
I’ll email the winner, get their address, and send them a book from Amazon.

As with most giveaways, there are rules. Here they are.

Good luck!!!!

Fighting Uncertainty

Beating Complacency

Overcoming Obligations

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