Today we have a unique retirement book to review.
I’m torn on it — there are some things I like about the book and others I’m not so fond of.
Refire! Don’t Retire: Make the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life is basically about moving to a higher gear in retirement, a different theme from the “how to have a happy retirement” focus of most books.
It’s this difference that I both like and find a bit annoying.
On the plus side, the book has an unusual take on retirement. Their challenge is that people should up their game in retirement — it’s no time to sit back and be comfy. If nothing else, the book challenges readers to think differently about this time in life. Since I like reading different perspectives on topics, I appreciated the book for this.
On the minus side, and I’m not sure this is their intent, I felt as if the book was of the opinion that if you weren’t out aggressively learning and doing new things constantly then you weren’t having a good retirement. They seemed to embrace a mentality that goes beyond the standard having things you enjoy doing and forces you to regularly push yourself into new experiences.
This made the book too rah-rah for me. I was exhausted just thinking about everything I needed to do to have a great retirement. It was also implied that if I wasn’t regularly pushing myself, I was going to have a sub-par experience.
Here are their exact words:
To refire is to approach life with gusto. It’s to see each day as an opportunity for adventure and learning! It’s to infuse passion and zest into every area of your life—emotional, intellectual, physical, and spiritual. Heart, head, body, and soul.
They broke these four down into different sections of the book labeled as follows:
- Refiring Emotionally
- Refiring Intellectually
- Refiring Physically
- Refiring Spiritually
They expanded upon this a bit with the following:
What I call refire is not simply to stop or start working, or take a class, or to finally lose that twenty pounds. It’s an ongoing process of approaching things with gusto, taking risks, and bringing enthusiasm and zest to every area of your life.
I prefer the “make of retirement what you want it to be” mentality. Yes, some want gusto, zest, passion, adventure, and more. But others prefer a more laidback relaxing life that allows them to experience their favorite pursuits at their own pace.
So I liked the challenge — and think this book could be worthwhile for anyone in a retirement rut — but for someone who’s already pretty active and enjoys retirement, I found it annoying.
Another difference in the book was that it’s written as a parable about a couple in retirement (who could have guessed?) and how they kicked their lives up a notch in retirement.
I’m generally not a big parable guy when it comes to non-fiction finance books (though I do love and recommend The Richest Man in Babylon), so this was something else I had to get over.
In the end, I would say the book is “ok”. It touches on many themes we’ve already addressed, though gives them its own spin to super-charge them.
I’ll go through what the book calls its “Four Keys”, share my thoughts, and let you decide what you think of it for yourself.
The First Key: Refiring Emotionally
The first key is to connect with people socially, a suggestion we’ve heard time and time again in various retirement books.
But this book asks us to go a bit beyond creating a few social connections. They want us to ramp it up, which is the way this book rolls with almost everything.
Their thoughts:
Our suggestion for the emotional aspect of your journey to refire is to get to really know each other, as well as the people around you. Be willing to take interpersonal risks and learn from them.
Ok, that doesn’t sound so bad does it?
Most people are willing to get to know others. I’m not as sure about the “take interpersonal risks and learn from them” part. What exactly do they mean by this?
I’m glad you asked. Here’s one example: develop a Last-Minute Gang.
Their thoughts:
When asked what the Last-Minute Gang was all about, Larry would explain that being a member of the gang meant you felt free to ask anybody to do anything at the last minute. The person who answered the call had the right to say yes or not, but unless they had a compelling reason not to say yes—for example, they were already eating when you invited them for dinner or were already at the movies when you invested them to a play—they said yes.
Larry summed it up this way: “Unless you have a legitimate reason to say no, you say yes!”
The book describes this style of living as more “fun” and “exciting”.
Uh, no. This would not be more fun and exciting for me.
I was born a planner and while I can do some things on the spur of the moment, I don’t want a never-ending last-minute guillotine hanging over my head in retirement. That’s just too much commitment for my “I want my freedom” retirement mentality.
What else is included? To give you a better sense of the ideas they propose in this key, here are some the questions from this section:
- What might you do to reach out to someone close to you—a spouse or good friend—to revitalize that relationship?
- What new people can you reach out to and make a part of your life?
- What can you do to let others know you care about them?
- What is your plan for making the world a better place?
- Tell a person you care about that you appreciate them.
- When was the last time you ventured out of your comfort zone, and what did you do?
- If you were going to start your own Last-Minute Gang, who would you invite?
- Choose one other person/couple to help you start a Last-Minute Gang and contact them.
- It’s been said that the only way to avoid making a mistake is to never do anything new. If that is how you’re living your life, what can you do to change?
- The next time you go to a restaurant, ask the server what is the best thing the restaurant serves—and order it.
- Take a car ride, no more than thirty minutes, to somewhere you’ve never been.
These aren’t bad IMO. They give people some things to consider, which can be really helpful for those who are stuck wondering what to do in retirement.
But some of them are a bit over-the-top — at least for me.
I’m fine with having some social connections in retirement and trying some new things, but if I’m always trying new things, when do I have time to do the activities I like (or even repeat the new things I’ve discovered that I like)?
They end the section with the Refiring Emotionally Code of Conduct as follows:
- Be playful…Laugh and kid
- Be friendly…Smile and be happy
- Be joyful…Embrace the moment
- Be loving…Approach and welcome others
- Be spontaneous…Get out of your comfort zone
- Be enthusiastic…Give it your all
Interested to hear what you all think of these.
As for my comfort zone, it’s kind of…well…comfortable. 😉
The Second Key: Refiring Intellectually
Here’s what they say about key #2:
If you’re not continuing to learn, you might as well lie down and let them throw the dirt on you, because you’re already brain dead.
No matter what your occupation or position in life, you can create a plan—a curriculum, as it were—to refire intellectually. Whether it’s taking classes, joining a book club, taking courses at a nearby university, or immersing yourself in another culture, you can keep your brain cells stimulated.
I 100% agree that you need to keep your brain engaged/challenged in retirement.
For me that means reading, sudoku and chess puzzles, and, of course, writing. There are probably a few others I’ve forgotten, but these are my core for keeping my mind sharp.
In the book’s list I guess it’s the “creating a curriculum” part that gets me. It just seems too over-the-top.
Why not simply select a core activity or two that involves challenging your mind (like the ones I’ve listed above)? Wouldn’t that be good enough?
Does it have to be so formal and involve others?
For instance, instead of joining a book club, how about simply reading? Or listening to audiobooks or podcasts (which I also do)?
How about instead of taking a class at a university, simply take one online?
To me those would be fine but I get the feeling they would fall below the book’s gung-ho standards.
Next, here are some of their questions for this section:
- What can you do to make your present life more interesting and challenging?
- What new technology might you embrace, and who can help you learn it?
- Make a list of the things that used to excite you—for example, acting photography, model building, poetry, or writing. How can you bring one of these passions back into your life?
- Either in person or online, take one class in an area you know little or nothing about.
IMO, my life is as interesting and challenging as I want it to be. After all, I need to balance interesting and challenging with other criteria like being relaxing, flexible, and enjoyable.
But I think that’s not what they want to hear. I get the feeling that if I’m not regularly pushing the limits and trying new things out of my comfort zone then the book feels I’m failing at retirement.
Not that I really care what they think, but simply the fact that they are pushing this on me (and others) is probably the essence of what annoys me about this book.
And here’s their Refiring Intellectually Code of Conduct:
- Be open to learn…Look for learning in every situation
- Be a reader…Constantly search for new information
- Be teachable…Let others mentor you
- Be courageous…Venture into new areas
- Be persistent…Stay with it even when it’s difficult
My thoughts:
- Look for learning in every situation: I look to learn, but in EVERY situation? Am I looking to learn when going to get gas, make a sandwich, or watch a movie?
- Constantly search for new information: I’m ok with “consistently” but “constantly” seems over-the-top.
- Let others mentor you: Learn from others? Sure. Have a mentor? No. It’s not something I’m interested in doing for a variety of reasons.
- Venture into new areas: I’m willing to try some new things, sure. That’s how I found pickleball after all. But I want to be sure I have time for my current interests too.
- Stay with it even when it’s difficult: Or move on. You can do that too. That’s the great things about retirement — you have the freedom to do what you want when you want. You may not have had this freedom previously (for instance, you may have been forced to tough out bad situations), so make the most of that freedom now.
Is it just me or are these suggestions turned up to 11? They seem a bit much.
Or maybe I’m just turning into the “get off my lawn, kids!” old man.
You tell me.
The Third Key: Refiring Physically
The physical section of the book is the one that’s fairly normal IMO.
It talks about the regular stuff you’d associate with being healthy: eat well, exercise, etc.
Here are the thoughts/questions at the end of the section:
- Identify at least one way you can eat more healthfully.
- What’s a first step you can take to becoming more physically active?
- What is the obstacle to doing that?
- How can you remove this obstacle?
- Set a modest goal, such as losing five pounds or walking a mile a day. Set a date to achieve this goal and start today!
Hold on just one minute! They need to up their game like they do in the rest of the book.
How about these instead:
- Identify at least one way you can qualify for the next Olympic games.
- What’s a first step you can take to running a marathon on Monday?
- There is no obstacle to doing that — except you, right?
- How can you remove yourself from being the obstacle?
- Set a huge goal, such as swimming the English Channel or walking to the moon. Set a date to achieve this goal sometime in the next seven days and start today!
There. That’s better. 😉
Here’s the Refiring Physically Code of Conduct:
- Be healthy…Honor and strengthen your body
- Be an exerciser…Move your body
- Be a smart eater…Eat less and enjoy more
- Be energetic…Play hard; rest well
- Stay flexible…Stretch every day
- Learn balance…Practice standing on one foot
Mr. Miyagi would love the last one! Ha!
Overall though, pretty reasonable and standard. It’s a surprise given the rest of the book pushes the limits.
The Fourth Key: Refiring Spiritually
This one’s both new to our list as well as difficult to offer concrete suggestions on.
As for the new part, it hasn’t been mentioned (at least much) in other retirement books I’ve read. In that aspect, I like it. It’s something new to consider.
But it’s also very challenging to offer any meaningful direction on. This is because being “spiritual” has so many different meanings to people that finding actionable suggestions everyone can consider is probably impossible.
That’s why they have to be fairly generic with their Refiring Spiritually Code of Conduct:
- Be aware…See the big picture
- Be forgiving…Give up being right
- Be grateful…Count your blessings
- Be accepting…Realize you’re not in total control
- Be humble…Realize you’re not the center of the universe
Not bad, but these are so vanilla that they will be difficult to follow IMO.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on this book.
Based on what I’ve shared, what do you think of it — is it something you’ll check out or not?
Or if you’ve already read it, what do you think of the book? Do you agree or disagree with my thoughts?
Bernd Doss says
Interesting, but not always realistic, or obtainable. Reminds me of a saying I’ve heard over many years. “Every day is a holiday, every meals a feast.” Until it isn’t. Dont think I’ll run out and buy the book.
Paper Tiger aka MI-27 says
I had too many people in my professional life trying to tell me how to manage my career. The last thing I want is these same kind of people trying to tell me how to manage my retirement life!
Joe F. says
I think I will take a pass on this book. The advice in this book, besides stating the obvious, sounds like things I have been hearing for the last 40 years about how to to be happy at work. One of the reasons I am looking forward to retiring is so I don’t have to listen to all the psycho-babble dribble everyday about what will make me happy.
The best statement is this article is…”the great things about retirement — you have the freedom to do what you want when you want.” If that doesn’t make a person happy or excite them, you might as well keep working and look forward to the next management email on why working here is better than retirement.
Steveark says
Wax on, wax off! The thing that stands out to me is the author assumes you weren’t already fired up on life before you retired. My wife and me are the founding members of the last minute gang, we take 3,000 mile road trips on a whim. My wife, at 65, is already trained for her first post covid marathon and we both crush high school tennis team players regularly on the courts. We both do lots of volunteer work and look after older neighbors and friends. But we did that when I was working too. No need to refire, just keep that old flame burning. I think it’s a bad plan to wait until retirement to get a life, people like you and me spent our whole lives building a great life, retirement is just a continuation of that, not something completely new.
Dave @ Accidental FIRE says
Sounds like they’re just preaching a sort of Gary Vaynerchuk version of what most of us would already consider to be a good life and retirement. In other words if you’re already eating healthy, good with your money, learning new things, being a good person, and staying socially engaged, they’re preaching that you should do these things “on 11” to use a Spinal Tap reference. That can get exhausting,
Meg says
Though there’re doing it with a bit more “gusto” than we may feel is needed for our audience, sounds like they’re hitting on a number of things ESI readers have already discovered!
Tim Bisch says
Still laughing at your Refiring Physically suggestions….
ESI says
🙂
Apex says
My first response was this is someone who pushes an overtly extroverted, high powered, salesy, motivation type approach to everything in life and probably has pushed this mentality in other areas and has just now taken his one big sledge hammer to the retirement field.
So I looked up the Author (Ken Blanchard) on Amazon. Here is what he has written:
The One Minute Manager (succeed more quickly in a rapidly changing world)
Whale Done! The power of positive relationships.
Lead like Jesus. Lessons from the greatest leadership role model of all time.
Leading at a higher level.
Great Leaders Grow. Becoming a leader for life.
First impression …. Bingo! I know nothing of those books and they may be great for people in leadership positions pre-retirement. I suspect the ideas in this book are almost all found in these other books he has written. He is just recycling them in a different category. A lot of authors do this. They have success selling a book so they want to “branch out.” But they don’t branch out. They just call the old stuff new and probably apply it in ways that aren’t nearly as useful as their first success.
I don’t need Tony Robbins to motivate me to change my story and change my life in retirement.
I don’t need Grant Cardone to tell me to 10x my retirement.
And I don’t need Ken Blanchard to tell me to Lead at a higher level in retirement.
The entire premise is flawed and misapplied by an author who should have stuck to his area of expertise.
Diogenes says
You don’t need Tony Robbins, and you don’t need Grant Cardone, and I don’t need Ken Blanchard, but do you need Jesus?
…LOL…I kid, I kid. 🙂
Everybody needs Jesus. 🙂
Early retiree #19 says
I read this book awhile back. Then I had to take a nap. The ideas and examples are so extreme. I could hear the author’s voice in my head sounding like a Anthony Robbins seminar replete with Pom Pom’s and flashing lights. I didn’t retire early to approach my life like I did when I was working 70 hour work weeks and traveling 3-4 days a week. Why not pick a few ideas and slowly enjoy them. If they’re not for you the beauty is try something else. I’ve got plenty of time now.
K D says
Ken Blanchard has authored dozens of books. Does he really believe everything in his books or is he just a book producing machine? I just requested the book from our public library. I’d like to take a look at it but don’t think I’ll love it enough to want to buy it.
It does seem that the approach is to be at least as busy in retirement as you are when you are working. I think there is no “one size fits all”. It is good to consider new ideas and maybe some useful things can be gleaned from this book but I don’t think it will be a bible for retirement.
Tom says
Ken Blanchard was a hero of mine back in the early days of my management consulting career. His “One Minute Manager” was brilliant.
Seems to me this book is taking a reductive approach to how to get retirement “right”, in the same way One Minute Manager did. If you were a young, new manager who didn’t have a lot of time to read up on managing, all you really needed to do to get started was to read One Minute Manager and you’d be off to a good start.
This book sounds like it is similarly aimed at those who retired without a clue as to what they were going to do with themselves, or retirees who, as ESI said, have gotten into a rut and are unhappy about it, but not sure how to get out.
So for those of you who are pooh-poohing this one, I say: relax. This wasn’t written for you, so please ignore it and carry on!
He did miss one trick, though, imho, in the Intellectual Refire section. Teaching. Sharing with others the accumulated wisdom of one’s career is a great way to give back and also stay intellectually stimulated. It has been an important part of my retirement thus far.
Refugee from Academia says
I agree. This is for people who can’t see beyond the couch in retirement. For that crowd, this “kick in the pants” may be just what they need. Although it does seem to miss that there are phases or ages of retirement, and this would not apply for the later parts.
Heather George says
I loved your response to the REFIRING physically. Husband walked into the office to find out what I was laughing about!
I do know a couple people who are like this actually. It’s fun to hang out with them. And then it’s really nice to get a rest from them. Either way, it’s good!
Bruce says
I think I’ll pass on this book and their idea’s – much too much like work! As you say, many decent idea’s, just taken over the top.
JayCeezy says
The author is 81, and not retired. His job title is ‘Chief Spiritual Officer.’
ESI, always appreciate your reviews. As for this book…hard pass.
“You don’t have to live your best life.” – Tom Papa
tom says
Re Tom Papa quote, I love it! Hadn’t seen that one before.
My take on it:
Western hat: Great! Takes the pressure off (phew!).
Eastern hat: You don’t have a choice.
😀
Zack says
Like your top list of finance books do you now have a top list of retirement books?
ESI says
I’m working on a post with my top ones. Still doing research and reading a lot for now. 😉
Diogenes says
Regarding Spirituality:
Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California at Riverside has discovered that the road toward a more satisfying and meaningful life involves a recipe repeated in schools, churches and synagogues:
1. Make lists of things for which you’re grateful in your life.
2. Practice random acts of kindness.
3. Forgive your enemies.
4. Notice life’s small pleasures.
5. Take care of your health.
6. Practice positive thinking.
7. Invest time and energy into friendships and family.
https://www.livescience.com/7059-keys-happiness.html
JJ says
It sounds like the author has a competitive attitude toward retirement, like he’s in a race to pack everything possible into his and he’s got a big headstart on everyone else. Reminds me of the slogan “He who has the most toys when he dies, wins.” I hope I never have to sit next to him at a dinner party!