Today we’re going to continue sharing thoughts from the book How to Retire by Christine Benz.
It’s a great book which I highly recommend. And as with the last article, I’ll be giving away a copy of the book at the end of this post.
We’ve already posted on this book as follows:
You may want to check these out if you missed them.
Today we’ll finish chapter 3, which is Christine’s interview with Laura Carstensen, a Stanford researcher on longevity. Last time they discussed social relationships and their impact on a happy retirement. We’re going to add to those thoughts with a few other longevity issues.
Activities in Retirement
We begin with these thoughts from Laura about having a variety of activities in retirement:
Diversification is actually a really good model for retirement generally. We should have a variety of things in our lives that we do. People who engage in a variety of activities as opposed to only one also tend to be healthier and cognitively more fit. A good model is to always be looking for something new or learning something new.
That could involve joining a book club and reading, or it could be learning how to play an instrument, learning how to speak another language. Or just planning a vacation, doing it on your own. Don’t get a travel agent to do it. All of that’s really good for people. It’s stimulating.
I have several thoughts on this subject:
- I agree that people need several activities they are interested in while in retirement. Author Wes Moss calls these core pursuits. Hie research found that the happiest retirees have 3.6 core pursuits while the unhappiest ones have 1.9 and that the top four (most common) core pursuits are travel, activities with family and grandkids, playing golf or tennis, and volunteering.
- You should identify several of these activities prior to retirement by testing them out and keeping the winners. We talked about that in this book’s post on planning for retirement.
- If you’re having trouble identifying potential ideas, check out my huge list of retirement activities. If you can’t find something there, you’re probably hopeless. Hahaha.
- My current activities include: mind games/puzzles (chess, LinkedIn games, sudoku, NY Times games — I do these daily, some I do alone and some I do with my wife), physical activity (swimming, walking, weights, stretching, pickleball, etc.), writing for ESI Money, discussing topics on Millionaire Money Mentors, watching TV/YouTube, weekly get togethers with our daughter and son-in-law, reading, and household tasks (mostly maintenance/upgrades on our home).
- I’m not sure I’m learning anything new currently (unless reading counts). I have wanted to create a YouTube channel for a few years now (which would take some learning), but I haven’t made much progress on it. So I need to consider what might fill that learning gap.
From here they moved on to a couple very interesting points…
The Meaning of Retirement Life
Laura continues her thoughts with this:
The other thing people should do is to maintain something really meaningful in their lives. For a lot of people that’s work, and so when they retire, they lose that sense of being important and being needed. We need to find ways that we can still experience that when we’re retired. A lot of people do it through mentoring others, through volunteering, and sometimes through part-time work. Having less work but still working is a good model.
Work is good for people. The way we work is not. Many people feel like they want to retire because the working models that many of us today live by — and I’m including myself here — are way too pressured. If you’re working a job and you’re putting in a 40- to 50-hour week and you’re not taking much in the way of vacations and you’re just kind of always “on” — even when you do take a vacation, you bring along your iPhone and your iPad and you’re checking your email — that’s not good for people.
That said, going from that to a complete sense of “Nobody needs me. I’m not obliged to do anything,” is just as bad. People think about retirement as a way to break out of that pressure. What we really need is to change the way we work throughout our working lives. But certainly, as you get older and you start to have some ability to work less and to be more flexible in your work, keep in mind that doing some work is good for most people.
As you might imagine, I have a lot to say about all this:
- Ahhhh, meaning. What is meaning in life? Is it the same as purpose? If so, check out Finding Your Purpose in Life for some guidance.
- Personally, I think meaning is simply something that gets you out of bed, excited, and living an enjoyable, active life. It could be volunteering, it could be taking care of grandkids, it could be that job you’ve always wanted to have, it could be golf/pickleball/tennis, or a whole host of things.
- “The sense of being important and…needed.” I do think many people need these, but they feel them at different levels. Most certainly there is a group who had high prestige jobs (doctors, executives, military officers, etc.) who may have difficulty when they retire because “everyone” isn’t holding them in high regard any longer (or at least that’s how they feel). These people clearly need something to fill this void.
- That said, there’s another group (like me) for whom work was what they did not who they were (it was a means to an end). This group still needs to feel important and needed, but there’s not that huge void left by leaving their job. So addressing this is not as important for them (and what it takes to fill this need doesn’t need to be as “big.”)
- Then, of course, there’s a large group in between the high-prestige-needs and the low-prestige-needs. They have to account for these issues within reason. My suggestions for everyone (at all these levels) is some form of work or volunteering…as Laura suggests.
- “Having less work but still working is a good model.” Yes! I could not have said this better myself! See why I like this book so much?
- Many people hate the way we work in America: what companies require, office politics, terrible bosses, commuting, dealing with employees and co-workers, and all the other things that make most work terrible. But they like work. There are a lot of benefits to it. This is why people want to retire from their careers asap and then work in retirement…this time doing something they like on their terms. It meets many of their needs while jettisoning the nasty parts of most career jobs.
- Between this and my other posts on the subject, has everyone gotten the message about working in retirement? Hahaha.
Next we move on to another vital issue.
Mental Health in Retirement
Laura makes this statement next:
People think about exercise being needed for your health. And that’s true, for physical health. But exercise is probably the best thing you can do for your mental health, too. In fact, there are studies suggesting that exercise is as good as behavioral therapy for depression. Getting out of the house, going for a walk, things like that are really good for us, psychologically.
The other thing that’s becoming increasingly evident is that nature has an effect on our mood. There was a great article in The New York Times just a couple of weeks ago, that found listening to birdsong for six minutes significantly reduced anxiety and depression. When I read it, I was at first surprised, but only for a nanosecond. Then I thought, “Of course.” When you sit outside or you go to a park and you hear the birds, and you’re looking around — and if you’re like me, you’re trying to figure out which bird makes which sound — it’s a good treatment. It isn’t necessarily something people think to do when they’re in a bad mood, but they should. Nature is important.
My thoughts on these:
- We all know how important our health is, and a vital part of being healthy is exercise. The fact that it helps in mental health too makes it even more mandatory for us all.
- Ah, the beauty of nature. That’s one thing I missed in Florida. The Villages is very nice, but it’s “man-made nice” — not like Colorado with its beautiful mountains or North Carolina with its amazing trees (we basically live in the woods — our backyard is all trees). If you lived on a beach, Florida would have its natural beauty as well…but we were far from the beach.
Now they begin to wrap up the conversation.
Getting a Big Bang from Retirement Activities
Christine makes this keen insight:
Ideally, it seems like you could perhaps bring some of these things together. For example, you could go outside for exercise, in nature, with a friend. That seems to check a lot of boxes.
To which Laura responds:
That’s right. But the bottom-line message is your social relationships contribute to your happiness more than any other one thing. You used the word “nurture.” We really should pay attention to our relationships and make sure people don’t fall away from us over the years. Stay in touch. It doesn’t take a lot to do that. It’s a phone call once a month. Even a phone call once every six months can be enough to keep a close relationship going.
Throughout our lives we really should pay attention to those things, to make sure that there are people there when we need them, and people who need us. Being needed is just as important as other people being there for us when we need something. Being needed is an essential human quality.
My thoughts on these:
Hahaha. I think they have been reading my posts. lol.
- In The Top Seven Retirement Activities, I listed the five retirement needs as follows: health and fitness, fun, work or work-like activities, social interaction, and mental stimulation.
- I have noted several times that selecting activities that address multiple retirement needs is the best way to make sure you get your needs met. For example, volunteering can address all five of the needs (depending on what you do) but most certainly will address at least three of them almost no matter what volunteer work you do. Working a job can also address all five. Playing a sport you like with friends addresses three.
- You get the idea — with the right selection of activities you can meet all your needs. This is why I spent a series on listing the top seven activities…because these are the ones that cover your needs by addressing multiple categories.
- They end by reinforcing what much of this chapter was about — being sure you have strong social connections. Let me suggest that you especially consider this piece of advice: “Even a phone call once every six months can be enough to keep a close relationship going.” Make a list of people you will call, text, or write every six months…and then do it…for both you and them!
- And just to hammer the point home, this is a CRAZY statement to me: “your social relationships contribute to your happiness more than any other one thing.” Let that sink in. And if you don’t have any (or even a handful) of relationships, you need to get some.
Conclusions
Christine wraps up the chapter with these summary thoughts:
We hear so much about the role of genetics in our life expectancy, but lifestyle choices play an even bigger role. It’s empowering to think about doing a few simple things better tomorrow — getting in 10,000 steps or reaching out to a dear friend you haven’t seen in a while.
Good news for us all — the majority of our life expectancy is within our control and the steps to improving are fun (or at least not terrible). Start/keep exercising, connect regularly with others, and get some work or volunteer time on your calendar. Pretty easy stuff.
Having satisfying relationships is a major predictor of life expectancy. It’s even more important than our level of wealth. So we need to tend to our relationships just as we do our portfolios, and maybe even more!
This is interesting to me in that I’m not sure I believe it (that it’s more important than wealth.) But I can believe that relationships are important and I need to make an effort to keep them healthy and nurtured. I think I’m doing fine based on what we discussed above.
Our social networks tend to shrink as we age, but that’s not a bad thing because people are getting more selective. They’re choosing fewer, deeper, more meaningful relationships rather than a diffuse network that includes people they’re friendly with but whom they care less about.
I’m not sure I’m “choosing” fewer connections, it’s just that I run into fewer people in retirement than I did when I was at work. I mean maybe I do…or maybe I don’t. I have added a bunch of people at the gym/pool, online with MMM, etc. so maybe it’s a breakeven.
Because things can change as we age — friends might relocate or fall ill, for example — it’s valuable to diversify your group of close friends just as you might diversify your portfolio.
I do have a pretty diverse set of social relationships: family I see, family I don’t see but communicate with somehow, friends in person, friends I don’t see but communicate with, online friends, and acquaintances (places I frequent like the pool or gym, church, etc.) That list seems pretty good to me.
Having a job can contribute to relationships and help provide a sense of purpose, and in turn may contribute to longevity. But working too much or too intensely isn’t great.
“Working too much or too intensely” is why many early retirees left their careers in the first place. In retirement we can work when we want to, how we want to, on our terms (either fully or mostly), on what we want to, etc. We get 90% of the benefits of working while cutting out 90% of the stress, nastiness, drama, politics, and overall drag of working for “the man.” What’s not to love?
Well, that’s it for this time, but we are far from through with this book.
To read the next post in this series, check out Thoughts on Social Security.
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As I said above, I’m giving away a copy of How to Retire on every post I do about the book. Here’s how to you can enter:
- Leave a comment below telling me what you liked best about this post, what you think you can use, or something you learned from it. Basically just share anything meaningful related to the content above (note: “please enter me to win” and similar comments will not be considered out of pure weakness! At least put a bit of effort into it!) This should be fun!
- Be sure to leave your email address when you leave the comment so I will know how to reach you if you win (the email address will not be visible to anyone other than me).
- The winners will be selected by me at random a few days after this post goes live. I’ll announce who wins in my own comment.
- I’ll email the winner, get their address, and send them a book from Amazon.
- As with most giveaways, there are rules. Here they are.
Good luck!!!!
Another excellent post from a great book!
Let’s consider this thought: “Having a job can contribute to relationships and help provide a sense of purpose, and in turn may contribute to longevity. But working too much or too intensely isn’t great.”
I have been doing a phased retirement over the past seven years. I worked 30 years full time and have been doing part-time (20 + hours per week) consulting work since then. I am planning to take a sabbatical from consulting with a view toward a fuller retirement.
This blog has talked a great deal that it is OK to have some work or work-like activities in retirement. I look forward to seeing how this will play out for me. I will try different flexible volunteer activities and see what I like.
I’ve been fun challenged and look to have a larger fun/smaller work life balance. I am going to give myself permission to have fun and do some of the many things on my bucket list.
The past year has been a wake up call for me as I realize that we should be very aware of our health span (years where we enjoy good health) and acknowledge that we don’t have forever.
Really enjoying the book review. At this point, I’m not certain the book has revealed anything NEW, but it continues to remind me that 50% is “knowing” and the other 50% is doing.
At this point, I’m focused on the doing piece of the equation. Throughout my life, people have come and gone. Today’s group of friends is substantially different than 8 years ago. I feel blessed by this fact, in part, because I allowed new people to come into the friend-circle and accepted the fact that some might also depart.
As for learning new things…I have had a curious mind my entire life. In retirement, my mornings are spent in my favorite chair reading, ESI Money, 1440 daily briefing, MMM, various woodworking groups and falling down at least one “new topic” rabbit hole. Most recently, it also includes time in Perplexity(AI) and Google Gemini. I enjoy running identical sessions in both tools and comparing the responses…
In my 23rd year of full retirement I have gone through many changes. Volunteering in activities for minor children, baseball, soccer, and scouting brought some new experiences which helped to fulfill the times engaged, however it didn’t last. The thoughts of longevity often enters when things change in daily activities.
Good article and looking for more to read about this book of retirement.
As I stated in a previous post, my husband is retired and he is a couch potato. I’m hoping when I retire next year I can get him involved in some volunteer work which is part of my plan. I’m also considering part-time work as an option on my plan as well, not for financial purposes, but for the social and getting out of the house aspects.
I have been retired for over 5 years, but reading these articles make me reflect on the real-life example I was exposed to through my grandparents. My grandfather lived to 98.5, Born in 1905. To start with he retired at 48 after selling his business, went back to work for a short time, because somehow retiring so young did not feel right. He then bought up 2 acres in the 50’s and moved 8 houses onto that land from highway improvements, did all of the renovations himself. Turned them into rental houses, sold 3 to his children, he lived at the end of the street. Surrounded in retirement by family, maintained a one-acre garden, canned, mowed his tenant’s lawn until he was 98. Never worried about running out of money, always outdoors and plenty of natural exercise, great nutrition, slept well, I never saw any stress, unless it was a broken water pipe. Bonus, he married his second wife at 88, one year after his 1st wife died. He never understood the need for gym memberships. Went to church and spent time with family, helped his neighbors, no need for planned retirement events. Enter me to win. I enjoyed the article, but I realize that my grandfather’s life/work, low stress and physical activity through his 80’s was the key to his long healthy life.
Retired for eight years now—and they’ve flown by. We moved to a lake house, bought a boat, and joined a country club where I play in the men’s league two to three times a week. I also got involved with a youth charity and started a golf tournament four years ago that’s raised over $130,000 in a small Texas town of 13,000 people.
I serve on our HOA board, which can feel thankless at times, but it’s been rewarding to make a real impact. After several failed attempts, we successfully passed new Covenants & Restrictions requiring 67% community approval—proof that persistence (and a little arm-twisting) pays off.
We’ve traveled extensively and take two to three meaningful trips each year with close friends. I run a football and golf pool that keeps me connected with friends across the country, and a buddy and I organize an annual golf event in Orlando that brings everyone together. We visit our grandkids every couple of months and host a large family reunion at the lake each summer.
Recently, my oldest friend—someone I’ve known since our mothers pushed us in strollers—passed away. To my surprise, he named me executor and trustee of his estate. I wasn’t thrilled at first, but I’ve come to see it as an honor and have found purpose in using my corporate experience to carry out his wishes.
On the personal side, my wife and I have leaned into a healthier lifestyle (she’s always been disciplined), and I’ve lost 48 pounds. I now work out three to five times a week, feel better than I did 15 years ago, and I’m off all medications. I’ve even started a small eBay side hustle—$600 in used golf gear my first month—which has been a fun bonus.
All in all, I’m loving retirement and truly enjoying life.
I’m slowly going through the chapters in this book I won from ESI (Thank you). It’s a pretty easy read and the chapters are short. I feel like each chapter is like reading a long blog post. One thing I don’t like is the interview format of the book. The “dialogue” between Christine and the expert is not quite my taste. The content is good but qualitative. Don’t expect any analytics, tables or charts. IMO, the material could be fully consumed as a podcast since there’s nothing you need to see in the book that you can’t get from hearing.
This giveaway is over and the winner is Nancy. (I’ll be emailing you!)