Our kids have been approaching driving age for several years. Now that they have arrived at driving age, my wife and I needed to wrap up a long discussing we’d been having about getting cars for the kids.
We had promised them that we would match whatever money they saved for a car. Over time they each saved $2,000 or so. As you know, a $4,000 car is not that great. We started to wonder if we’d be worried that the car would break down when they were out and about.
So we thought about buying them a better car ourselves. We hadn’t defined “better” when my daughter started asking about getting a car. We had to decide something soon!
So after some thinking and planning we decided:
We would buy each child a new car.
- The car would be the one and only car we would buy them as it would last all the way through college and then some (so we wouldn’t have to buy one now and then buy another in four years when they get out of college).
- They would have to take care of all car expenses (insurance, gas, maintenance, etc.) Previously we were going to cover insurance and maybe some maintenance.
- They would have to earn the car in some non-monetary way. (After all, if we were buying a car, we wanted to get something out of it too.) This is where things got interesting.
The Girl
My daughter has been a junk food junkie and my wife was constantly on her about eating “junk”. So coming up with a deal for her was pretty easy. It was:
For one year (2016) she could not drink sodas of any kind and she could not have any sweets (cookies, cake, ice cream) except on special occasions we deemed ok (family birthdays, Christmas, etc.)
We would buy her the car in the fall of 2016 (she wants it early), but if she did not fulfill the commitment, we would take the cost of the car out of her college money (something she did NOT want to happen).
As this post goes live she has fulfilled her end of the bargain so far and we’re in the process of car shopping.
The Boy
My son spends way too much time on social media which is a huge frustration for my wife. So we made him the offer of staying off all social media for a year (2106) and we’d buy him a new car.
His response was, “Ha! Not worth it.”
As I tell my friends this, I’ve had several offer to quit social media if I’d buy them a new car. 馃檪
So that’s it. He didn’t want the deal and didn’t seem interested in finding an alternative option. So he’s now car-less and I don’t have to spend an extra $25k!
What do you think of this sort of arrangement? Good idea? Bad idea? Suggestions to make it better?
We are facing the whole car issue for our first teenager as well. My daughter just turned 16 and has a learners permit. In 6-months, she’ll be able to drive on her own.
Here’s what we’ve observed and learned:
– It seems like many of her friends received cars from their parents when they turned 16, some of them were brand new, some were used
– No one appears to be paying for them, at least as far as my daughter is aware
– If she had her own car, our insurance would jump by $2,600 a year – whoa! And that’s for a 10-year old used car.
Our daughter is not expecting a car, as we’ve already told her that we can’t spend that kind of money right now. It’s not really true, but we feel like we shouldn’t be spending it on that.
We don’t want her working during school, so she can focus on her studies, so we can’t ask her to pay any portion of a car really.
I like your approach of having the kids give something up in order to receive a car. That way they are paying something for it and feel a little sacrifice.
I like the idea of getting them a new car too, that way it has all of the latest safety features and is less likely to break down in the middle of nowhere – a nice feature for a daughter.
It’s a tough call on how to handle and we are still trying to figure it out! Thanks for sharing!
The funny thing with my sons’ friends are few wanted to get there license at 16. Maybe because they could not afford a car and the parents would help. But we stressed that driving was a privilege and not a right and the car they drove was one that my wife drove. In 2003 we bought a Pontiac Vibe new and our son was 11. I told my wife ” you know how every 5 years we think about replacing your car, well in 5 years we will just keep it and our son can drive it” She just about doubled over in the realization that her 11 year old will qualify for driving in 5 years. When my son got his license we said now it is not “his car” but the families 3rd car that he will drive. It had 100k miles on it and was quite reliable. Also part of the deal was as long as they did not get any tickets or accidents we will cover the 3rd cars cost but if anything happens then they will need to start paying and if you did something stupid like drink and drive you are off my insurance and the privilege of driving is gone. Due to the unfortunate difficulty of jobs in the area that they were unable to take on some responsibility of helping with the car. If they had a job they would have needed to help but what work they did get did not amount nearly to what it actually cost for the car.
When they went away to college it was a no brainer. No freshman living on campus could have a car. Well they learned to get around without it and I was fine with that. Plus I could not afford for each to have a car away at college.
Everyone’s situation is different and how you work it out is different. I was thinking I would need to get them both a car when in college and I never really needed to which save me quite a bit of money.
I guess every kid is different. I am the oldest of 3 children and saved up mowing lawns and working at crappy retail jobs (stocking shoes) to save up $2850 to buy a manual transmission Nissan with no AC back in 1990- it was a 1987 model with 92,000 miles on it. It was fun to drive but very hot in the summer- I went to university in Baltimore and then sold it 3 years later for $3100 with 128,000 miles on the clock! It was the only time I’ve ever made money selling a used car after owning it!
My middle sister had a car gifted to her, a Ford Probe that she ended up totaling when she got the wheel caught in the groove of a road and it pulled her into a barrier as she tried and oeversteer out of it. I was following her in another car and while she was alright, it was scary. My folks got her a replacement car.
My youngest sister never got a license (her husband does all the driving) and she is now in her late 30’s- so no car needed.
So the lesson learned for me is that every child is different and it’s worth trying to make a customized deal with them- more fun too in my opinion! Sounds like you saved a bundle with your son, and everyone is happy (so far). Well done!
-Mike
Wow, 25K per kid at 16… Ouch! I have 3 kids, is this what I have to look forward to? It will hurt.
I am not a big social media person at all. I have a digital fingerprint but no active presence. This being said, your options did not seem fairly weighted, which is why your daughter quickly accepted and your son did not. just my view.
I wouldn’t say she quickly accepted. It was a negotiation.
She was “addicted” to sweets and soda the way someone might be to coffee or even alcohol. It was not easy (at all) for her to give them up.
But she’s determined and motivated and thus has been able to live up to the task.
Your post is interesting and almost sounds like my kids. My daughter is a sweet tooth and son is all about social media. I could totally see him not taking that deal. Thanks for sharing.
Our 20 year old did not get her license until half way through senior year of high school (about 6 months after she was old enough to get it). Because she was going to be away at college (and was not keen on driving) we did not see the point in getting her a car at that time. She was free to drive one of our vehicles when she wanted. After a year of college she wanted to live at home, while attending a university not too far from home. This necessitated having a car (but cut college expenses by ~$11K/year). Since she had little driving experience we did not want her to have a new car. We bought her a late model vehicle with low mileage (and each corner of the car had a scratch on it, we surmise the previous owner had reached the point where they should no longer be driving). It was not much more expensive than most used vehicles with much higher mileage and many years older. We pay for her insurance and maintenance (so far just routine) while she pays for gas (she has offered to pay the other expenses as well but insurance is so expensive, through no fault of her own). It is still a lot expensive than paying room and board at college would have been. Her car should be good for several years after college.
You had some interesting ideas. I do agree that giving up social media is tougher than giving up sweets (and I love sweets and not social media). With food/drinks there is always something else to consume, with social media you are more or less ostracized from your peers. I also wonder how your son will get around, without a vehicle. It’s never easy to make these decisions and sometimes one size does not fit all.
I’m almost comforted by this post because your teens sound just like mine! My son is a junk food junkie and my daughter is on her ipad all.the.time. Your son’s response to the social media limitation is classic, though!
We paid half of my son’s used car (it was $3300 + new tires) and we pay insurance (our insurance went up almost $1000/year, even after shopping around and switching companies). So far, no repairs (fingers crossed). He is on the hook for gas and any repairs, but still hasn’t gotten a “job”, so he’s become ultra frugal lately. I gotta wonder what happens when the gas money runs out.
For those of you wondering, my son has the “original deal” we offered both kids — save for a car and we’ll match what you save.
He’s got $3k of his own money and is working towards $5k (which would mean a $10k car with our portion).
As for now he has little need for a car. His job is a few blocks from our house and he has friends who drive.
If your son doesn’t end up getting a car anytime soon, will you still hold up your end of the bargain and give him the cash instead (or some sort of cash-equivalent such as putting more into his college fund) … or would you just keep the agreement in place indefinitely until he is finally ready to buy a car?
My end of the bargain is to match what he has saved for a car for the purchase of a car. It’s not “match his amount saved whether or not he buys a car.” So he will not get a cash payment if he does not buy a car.
But he will buy a car — eventually. He will get our portion when he does so — be that in six months, a year, or five years.
Just so you know, and you may not, given that you think $28k is required to buy a reliable car…
In the 90’s, Lexus (luxury arm of Toyota) created what they called the LS400. Big comfy, armchair on wheels car. V8 engine.
More importantly, like most things created in the 90’s, they created it properly, to last.
As a result there are several of these running round with over 1 million miles on the odemeter, on standard, factory fitted components (except stuff like tyres and wiper blades obviously).
Why am I telling you this?
Because a good one costs around $3-5k. Get a 1997 for the facelift and upgraded version.
Not many people know about such a car that 21 years later still matches the latest cars for comfort and trounces them for reliability.
It’s likely that my daughter will buy the $10 car we received here:
https://esimoney.com/kids-cars-got-2008-forester-10/
She’ll pay fair market price for it, but will also pocket the difference. 馃檪
Ummm…not to be annoying, but it’s easier to forgo a certain type of food than it is to forgo all social media. Plus, social media is the only way some people communicate (Facebook), so your son would be giving up friends. And I REALLY dislike social media. Yet, have to be there for my online business, my pet sitting business, AND it’s the only way MANY of my friends and family communicate now.
Like I wouldn’t have known my best friend was engaged until days later if it wasn’t for her Facebook announcement after it happened. I wasn’t seeing her until the following Friday. And a few of my friends who have moved are now Facebook friends.
Anyway, my point is, your deal is totally up to you as parents of course. But you offered your daughter something WAY easier to accomplish. And this is from someone who had Famous Amos cookies for breakfast most of last week. And again, this is from someone who does not like Facebook. Not putting something in your mouth is easier than disconnecting from your peers. I’m glad your son at least knew what he could and could not do…
For you, maybe, but remember, I know these kids and you do not. So the deal is the same challenge given what I know about their personalities.
For instance, it would be easy for me to say that it’s easy to give up alcohol. I don’t drink anyway and even when I did (in college) I didn’t enjoy it and it wasn’t much. So to give it up for any amount of time would be easy. Do you think it would be as easy for an alcoholic? Probably not, right? So what’s hard for one person can be easy for another. That’s why the tasks are different — they are tailored for the child.
BTW, my daughter would have MUCH rather given up social media than cut sweets and soda. She isn’t on twitter or instagram and just joined Facebook this year because she wanted to establish a spot on the web, but she barely checks it (she never responds when I send her things there and when I mention it she says she rarely checks it). So having her do the social media thing would have been a lay-up, similar to me giving up alcohol.
So no, her challenge was not WAY easier for her. It may be way easier for you or for your perception of her, but in reality it was much harder than the alternative.
It was in our best interest to have our 3 daughters driving at 16 due to their busy schedules. We purchased a used Bug ($10,000) for daughter #1. Fixed up daddy’s 67 Camero ($15,000) that Daughter #2 & #3 drove in HS. purchased a used Sonata ($15,000) for daughter #2 to drive when daughter #3 got the Camero. Daughter #3 is now driving the Bug at college after not needing a car her freshman year. So for $40,000 all our 3 girls drove a car and mom and dad got a fixed up 67 Camero that increases in value. Daughter #2  can trade in the Bug and Sonata when ready to purchase another car as long as they pay cash and do not finance.