The Top Seven Retirement Activities, Part 2

Today we’re continuing our series on the Top Seven Retirement Activities—the habits and routines that lead to a fun, fulfilling, and well-rounded life after work.

Last time, we kicked things off with the #1 activity I believe every retiree should prioritize: exercise and staying healthy. If you missed that post, go back and read it to catch up.

Now it’s time to move to the next essential activity.

#2: Build and Maintain Strong Social Connections

This one is just as important as exercise. In fact, some experts would argue it’s even more important. And honestly, I won’t argue with that. Flip the top two in order if you like—the key point is this: you need both.

Social connection isn’t just about avoiding loneliness. It’s a core piece of living a happy, meaningful retirement. Study after study has shown that regular interaction with others—friends, family, community—leads to longer lives, better mental health, and a stronger sense of purpose.

We’ve talked about this before at ESI Money, and it’s worth revisiting. So instead of me droning on about this subject (I will do some of that, of course), let’s first review the highlights of a few, worthwhile posts on this important topic.

I’ll share some key excerpts from these that hit hard at why having social connections in retirement is vital.

The Happiest Retirees

Let’s begin with happy retirees and see what they say. Here is one of the most helpful discussions on the topic of social relationships in retirement: What the Happiest Retirees Know: Social and Health Habits

In it, we explored why retirees who maintain rich social lives are happier and healthier than those who don’t—and how making even a few intentional changes can yield major benefits.

Here are some of the post’s highlights:

• Social connection is crucial to survival.
• To be happy in retirement, you need at least three “CCs” (close connections), aka friendships. More is great, too, but three seems to be the magic number. Unhappy retirees have 2.6 CCs. Happy retirees have 3.6.
• As we’ve seen with the Plateau Effect, more money early on leads to more happiness, but at a certain point, happiness plateaus. There is no plateau when it comes to close social connections. Quite simply, when it comes to close connections, more is better. Period.
• Friends are a better happiness currency than money. You heard me correctly. Money can’t buy friends — but friends can buy happiness.
• Happy retirees make a concerted effort to see their group of close social connections on a regular basis. Once a year or even a few times a year doesn’t cut it. Once you’ve got your three or more CCs, it’s critical to make the effort to see them on average once a month.
• Organized groups (and even semi- or loosely organized groups) create a powerful social epicenter to maintain social connectedness. HROBs report belonging to at least one group. This could be a group organized around any activity, hobby, or interest under the sun that you can enjoy with other people. The kind of group and level of organization doesn’t matter, only that you participate.
• Travel with friends is another secret sauce of the HROB. Respondents who reported that they “never” travel with friends are less likely to fall into the happy camp. However, just one trip per year — yes, only one — makes you twice as likely to land in the HROB camp. Start packing!
• A recent study conducted by the health insurer Cigna confirmed an epidemic of widespread loneliness, with nearly half of Americans reporting they feel alone, isolated, or left out at least some of the time.” Douglas Nemecek, MD, Cigna’s chief medical officer for behavioral health, went so far as to say that “loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day, making it even more dangerous than obesity.”

I really liked the book this is from…so much wisdom in it for both pre-retirees and retirees.

Retirement Relationships

Next, let’s turn to another post on this topic: The Retirement Maze: Retirement Relationships.

This article dives into the importance of relationships in retirement and how they evolve once the structure of work life is gone. It offers valuable insight into why nurturing personal connections is key to a successful and satisfying retirement.

Some highlights:

• Friendships and social interaction are extremely important for psychological well-being regardless of age and life stage. They contribute to our feelings of personal meaning and value and, by creating a sense of membership in the community, can help to maintain and reinforce our own identities and validate our thoughts and actions. They can be a refuge in time of need, providing emotional support and comfort and a sense of being accepted and loved by others. Additionally, to the extent that social interactions are planned (e.g., things like meetings, functions, and other gatherings that occur at a set time), they provide schedules that can help to add structure and meaningfulness to day-to-day living. Finally, we might also point out that a social life takes on even more importance after leaving one’s job, at which point the opportunities to feel good about one’s accomplishments may not be so handy.
• The results of our survey clearly showed a link between a well-developed social life and better overall quality of life and, more to the point, better adjustment in retirement. Well-adjusted retirees seem to put more effort into developing and maintaining relationships, in terms of both time and emotional attachment, and their efforts have paid off in a greater sense of connectedness the world. Apparently, it’s not just the size of one’s social circle that matters but also its composition—well-adjusted retirees tend to be less exclusively reliant on family members for their social needs.

Specifically, we found the following concerning well-adjusted retirees as compared to their less well adjusted counterparts:

• Well-adjusted retirees are more likely to have friends outside the workforce and are likely to have more nonwork friends in their social circle. They spend more hours per week interacting with their friends, have increased the time they spend with them since retiring, and tend to be more emotionally close to their friends. In contrast, for the less well adjusted, family members — and especially their children — take up a greater proportion of their socializing time, and they tend to have stronger emotional connections with family members but weaker ones with friends.
• Well-adjusted retirees are more likely to belong to clubs and organizations and spend more hours per week at their clubs. The less adjusted in contrast, actually spend less time at their clubs in retirement than they did while they were still working.
• Well-adjusted retirees are much more likely to be satisfied with their social lives, more likely to feel connected to the world, and much less likely to say they feel lonely. The less adjusted, on the other hand, feel their social circle is too small, and although they realize they spend too little time interacting with friends, they also acknowledge that they have spent less time with them since retiring. They are also less likely to have made new friends since retiring and are less motivated to do so in the future. These retirees are also more prone to think their social lives have gotten worse since retiring.

Pretty compelling stuff, huh? Are you convinced yet that strong, regular social connections are essential to a great retirement?

And yes, this applies to everyone—even if you’re an introvert like I am, you still need them. (Trust me on this one.)

The Data and Research

You may still not be convinced (for whatever reason), so I went to the big guns to help me make my point.

I asked my new best buddy, ChatGPT (I’ll talk more about it in a future post), for some data on the subject (for those of you who like “proof”.) I got this:

There’s a significant and growing body of research showing that strong social connections are one of the most important factors for a happy, healthy, and long-lasting retirement. Here are some of the most compelling studies and findings:

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1. Harvard Study of Adult Development

• • What it is: One of the longest-running studies on adult life, tracking participants for over 80 years.
  • Key finding: “The clearest message we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.”
  • Strong social bonds were more predictive of long-term happiness and health than wealth, IQ, or even genetics.
  • Source: Harvard Gazette – Good genes are nice, but joy is better

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2. National Institute on Aging (NIA)

• • Key findings:
  • Social isolation is associated with a 50% increased risk of dementia.
  • Poor social relationships (characterized by social isolation or loneliness) were associated with a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke.
  • Loneliness has been linked to higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide.
  • Source: National Institute on Aging – Social isolation, loneliness in older people pose health risks

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3. Journal of Health and Social Behavior

• • Study conclusion: Older adults who maintain high levels of social engagement experience better cognitive function and lower rates of disability.
  • Maintaining social ties was associated with reduced risk of mortality and functional decline.
  • Source: Cornwell, B., & Waite, L. J. (2009). “Social disconnectedness, perceived isolation, and health among older adults.”

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4. Blue Zones Research (Dan Buettner)

• • In regions with the highest concentrations of centenarians (called “Blue Zones”), one common trait is strong social networks and a sense of belonging.
  • People in these communities prioritize regular face-to-face interaction and communal living, which contributes to lower stress and longer life spans.
  • Source: Blue Zones – Power 9: Lifestyle habits of the world’s healthiest, longest-lived people

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5. American Psychological Association (APA)

• • A meta-analysis of 148 studies found that people with strong social relationships had a 50% increased likelihood of survival compared to those with weaker social ties.
  • The impact of strong relationships on longevity was comparable to well-known risk factors such as smoking, alcohol consumption, and physical inactivity.
  • Source: APA – Social Relationships and Mortality Risk

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Summary Takeaway:

Having strong social connections in retirement isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s essential to your physical health, mental well-being, and longevity. Regular interaction with family, friends, and community provides:

• • Better emotional regulation and reduced risk of depression
  • Protection against cognitive decline
  • Improved physical health and immune function
  • Longer life expectancy

Hahahaha. Don’t argue with Chat!

Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything that says having limited social connections in retirement is a good thing (or even a neutral thing). It has always been portrayed as a positive (and a negative if you don’t have it). You can’t say that about many subjects.

The Everyday Actions

Let’s say you’re on board with the concept but want some practical details.

What does having strong social connections actually look like in real life? How do you build and maintain those connections in retirement?

Let’s take a look at what he had to say (my questions are in bold italic and his responses follow)…

For social interactions you recommend that people have at least three close connections — people they can confide in. The data says that unhappy retirees have 2.6 people and happy retirees have 3.6, so why didn’t you go with four (three seems to be between happy and unhappy)?

It’s all about the inflection point of happiness.

Having two or fewer close connections actually makes you 2.2 times more likely to be unhappy.

Hitting that magical three number sets people up to be happier, and the more close friends the better.

There’s no happiness plateau with close connections.

Do family members count in the numbers of close connections or are they just “extra” social connections?

Close connections are people that you trust, who love you unconditionally, and completely see you for who you are. This can absolutely include family members.

It’s less important about where people fall on the family or friend category, it’s more important about the depth of relationship.

This can be a brother, sister, college roommate, neighbor, or golf buddy.

I’m unclear how the close connections work. It’s noted that they should be close enough to confide in and yet a suggestion for finding them is to join a cycling club. How close to they really need to be — can they be casual like someone you’d cycle with or do they need to be much closer? For example, I play pickleball and have somewhere around 50 people I play with, some I see every week (even multiple times a week). Would I confide in them? I’m not sure, but probably not. So how do these relationships factor in?

This actually points to a different part of my study. I found that happy retirees tend to be part of “social epicenters” such as church, Kiwanis Club, or even a pickleball group which can help them find like-minded people who in time might turn into close connections.

While your pickleball crowd sounds wonderful, if you don’t think you’d confide in any of them then they’re not close connections. However, if from that crowd you meet one or two individuals who you decide to spend time with outside of these pickleball meet ups until eventually that relationship deepens to a level where you would call them with great news or bad news, then they’ve transformed into close connections.

All this to say, it’s important to have these groups of friends, and you need close connections.

You note that happy retirees travel with friends. Can traveling with family count (assuming it’s not family who lives with you)?

Absolutely! Family can be close connections, and I think that’s the main point we’re trying to capture here.

Spend more high-quality time with the people you care about. Travel gives you the space and dedicated time to do that.

—————

There’s some pretty practical stuff in there.

I’m personally really glad that family counts as that’s where my strongest relationships are.

Close Friend Versus an Acquaintance 

So you want a “close” relationship with at least four people…but what really separates close from not close?

I wanted a bit more information on this, so I posed this question to the Millionaire Money Mentors:

What does everyone here consider to be a close friend as opposed to an acquaintance?

Here are a few of their responses:

If I call them and say I’m in jail in another state, I need you to bail me out… and you KNOW they would do it without asking questions or giving it a second thought.

————

Best friend, I’d give you a kidney.

Close friend, I like the jail scenario above.

————

Friend, you can call me in the middle of the night and I’ll pick you up from a sketchy situation.

Acquaintance, I don’t really want to know about your life if I ask you how it’s going.

————

An acquaintance will hang out with you at work or during happy hour.

A good friend will let you borrow their tools or keep an eye on your house while you’re away.

A true friend will hide you in their house until the searchers give up.

————

Hahaha. Yeah, I wouldn’t go that far!

But you get the idea. 

Personally I’m not so sure that the relationships need to be that deep. IMO you can be close to someone without confiding your innermost secrets. But again, I think you get the idea. Trading hellos with the cashier at Starbucks every day doesn’t count.

Some General Thoughts on Social Connection

Now that we’ve taken a deep dive into this subject, let’s zoom out for a moment and summarize where we stand:

• You need social connections to have a great retirement. Yes, even if you’re an introvert.
• The research points to needing at least four close connections. Four seems to be the magic number for well-being.
• Good news: Your family counts! You can hit your quota with just your immediate circle.
• Bad news: You still need other social connections beyond your core circle. These don’t have to be deep relationships—casual friendships and acquaintances help too.
• More is better. While there’s no clear research on the “ideal” number beyond your core group, being socially active in general makes a big difference.
• Being disconnected leads to an unhappy retirement. The evidence here is overwhelming—social isolation is a major retirement risk factor.
• The upside: Making connections is easier than you think, and you can do it while pursuing other fun or meaningful activities.

•  Family – Immediate and extended
• Gym or workout group – Classes, personal training, or casual encounters
• Pickleball – Or any local recreational league (tennis, golf, softball, etc.)
• Church or faith-based groups – Worship, small groups, service teams
• Volunteering – Nonprofits, schools, hospitals, animal shelters
• College or school friends – Reconnecting or staying in touch
• Hobby clubs – Photography, gardening, writing, book clubs, crafts
• Community centers – Classes, lectures, and social events
• Lifelong learning programs – Many universities offer continuing ed for retirees
• Neighborhood groups – HOA meetings, block parties, or just chatting on walks
• Travel groups – Retirement travel clubs or group tours
• Local coffee shops or cafes – Becoming a “regular” has social perks
• Game nights or trivia nights – Hosted at homes or local restaurants
• Online forums and communities – Like the MMM forums or Facebook Groups
• Senior centers or activity centers – Especially in 55+ communities
• Voluntary clubs/organizations – Rotary, Kiwanis, Lions, etc.
• Pet-related meetups – Dog parks or pet clubs (a great way to meet people)
• Cooking or wine classes – Food is a universal connector
• Part-time jobs or consulting gigs – Work-like environments can foster friendship
• Mentoring younger professionals or students – Deep connections through giving back
• Music or performing arts groups – Choirs, bands, or community theater

The list goes on. Wherever people are, you have the opportunity to connect—whether it’s an acquaintance or a lifelong friend.

My Own Social Network

Here’s what my own social structure looks like:

• Closest relationships: My wife, daughter and son-in-law, son, and dad. I talk to or see all of them regularly—some daily. They’re the heart of my social life.
• Next tier: Extended family (cousins, aunts, uncles) and long-time friends—like a few college buddies I’ve kept in touch with.
• Middle layer: Friends from various circles—former coworkers, neighbors, and yes, online friends from the MMM forums. Some of these have even become in-person friends, especially when we lived in The Villages.
• Acquaintances: Friendly faces I recognize around town—at the gym, church, restaurants, on walks, or during community events.

Honestly, I think I’m at capacity—any more social interaction and I might burst! Ha!

Social Connection or Not?

One topic I forgot to ask Wes about was pets—specifically, whether they count as a form of social connection in retirement.

Since I’m no longer in touch with Wes, I turned back to ChatGPT. I asked whether pets could be considered part of your social network in retirement, and here’s what I got:

Great question—and the answer is: yes, to a degree.

Pets absolutely provide companionship, emotional connection, and a sense of routine, which are all valuable in retirement. In fact, studies have shown that pet owners often experience:

• • Reduced stress and anxiety
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Increased physical activity (especially with dogs)
  • Less loneliness, especially for those living alone

So while pets don’t replace human relationships, they can supplement your social well-being in a powerful way. For introverts or those going through transitional periods (like early retirement or a move), a pet can be a comforting, consistent presence.

Also—pets can be social catalysts. Walking a dog, visiting a vet, or going to a dog park often leads to casual conversations and even friendships with other pet owners.

Bottom line:

• • Pets do count as meaningful companions
  • They support your emotional and mental health
  • But they don’t fully replace the need for human social interaction

So if you’re planning your retirement social strategy, think of your pet as a wonderful part of the plan—but still aim to build and maintain human connections alongside them.

(And let’s be honest, your cat or dog might just be more emotionally supportive than half your friends anyway!)

You can make of that whatever you like! Hahahaha.

But I must say, as I type this my baby kitty is nestled on my lap! Love him!

How About You?

What social connections do you have—or plan to build—in retirement?

If you haven’t thought about it yet, now’s the time.

Social connection is just as critical as your health and your finances. Make it part of your plan—and you’ll be glad you did.

Additional ESI Money posts to read for more on this subject include:

These posts offer a deeper look at why connection is just as important as cash when it comes to thriving in retirement.

Stay tuned as we’ll cover activity #3 very soon!

To read more on this series, check out part 3 here.