Well, it’s time for another retirement update where I share what it’s like in the retired world of ESI.
This one is a few days early as I need a couple more days to finish a post for next week (so I moved this one up).
And be sure to stick around to the end as I have a very nice giveaway today.
If you didn’t catch the last update, here it is. You may want to read it as some of the items mentioned in this post will assume you know what’s in the former piece.
The past three months have had a lot of activity and have seemed more like years than months. So let’s get to the details.
Bad News
We will begin with the bad news.
On April 14, the first woman I ever loved died.
My mom had been sick many times in the past four decades and was not in great health.
Her various ailments left her on a large set of prescriptions and with a fragile body.
She and my dad (step-dad) had been living in an RV for a year and a half. Their winter quarters this year were in Bullhead City, AZ.
Mom had been sick 2-3 weeks when she got so ill that my dad insisted she go to the hospital (which she did not want to do). So he called an ambulance and they carried her out of the RV as she couldn’t walk. My dad called me and let me know what was going on.
After a few hours in the local hospital, they life-flighted her to Las Vegas. At 3:30 am the next morning my wife and I got the call from my dad that she probably wouldn’t make it through the next 24 hours.
I have received somewhere between three and five of these sorts of calls about my mom over the last 40 years. I always went, and she always pulled through.
This time we went as well — my wife and I flying straight from Colorado Springs to Las Vegas (it was the first time we’d been on a plane in over a year).
We were at the hospital by 2 pm that afternoon (the same day we got the 3:30 am call) and because of Covid protocols, we could only go up one at a time to see her (and just because many of you are probably wondering, no, she did not have Covid — the limit on visitors was the hospital’s policy for everyone — only one visitor per patient at a time).
When I saw her she was semi-awake and on a ventilator (so she could not talk). She didn’t look great, but frankly I had seen her in worse condition.
She had become extremely dehydrated while she had her recent illness and this had set off a chain reaction of other problems given her fragile state. At least that’s what we think happened. Much of our thinking was speculation as the doctors searched for answers which were often elusive.
My wife and I spent the next five days at a hotel in Las Vegas. We visited my mom, worked with the doctors to help determine what we could do, and moved my parent’s RV to an RV park in Las Vegas (my dad and I drove down to AZ to get it one day).
We left that next weekend, then I talked to my dad and the doctors every day (they called me as it was determined that I would be their best contact. My dad was there but everyone decided that I would talk to the doctors and then talk to dad.)
After the second week of trying this and that, the doctors were out of answers. And my mother’s organs started shutting down, especially her liver.
The doctors were in agreement that there was nothing to be done for her — there was no hope for her recovery.
Over the course of the two weeks it took to get us to this point, I had tracked down the lawyer my parents used to complete their last wills (thank God we lived in a small town and we knew all of the five lawyers — my dad could only guess which one they had hired — I found him and they sent me all the paperwork, including their health care directive).
The first paragraph explicitly explained my mother’s wishes:
If I should have an incurable or irreversible condition that will result either in death within a relatively short period of time or a state of permanent unconsciousness from which, to a reasonable degree of medical certainty, there can be no recovery, it is my desire that my life not be prolonged by the administration of life-sustaining procedures. If I am unable to participate in my health care decisions, I direct the attending physician to withhold or withdraw life-sustaining procedures that merely prolong the dying process and are not necessary to my comfort or freedom from pain.
So on Tuesday, April 13, I flew back out to Las Vegas. When I saw my mom, she was not coherent most of the time (she never was very responsive any time, but now she was clearly “not there”.) She was also very jaundiced from the liver issues. We told her we loved her and hoped she heard us.
My dad and I met with the hospice people and the next day we removed life support. She lived four hours from the time her ventilator was removed. My dad and I sat there and chatted while she held on and we were there when she was pronounced dead.
The next day my dad and I loaded up the RV while my wife made funeral arrangements from our house in Colorado. (BTW, once the smoke clears I’ll probably write a post on the funeral business — what a racket. It makes wedding costs look inexpensive.) We then spent the next two days driving to our house in Colorado (we spent one overnight in the RV in a Walmart parking lot with about 30 other RVs which exposed me to a subculture I had never experienced.)
BTW, if I had ever thought I wanted to live the RV life (and I never really thought I did), this convinced me that I certainly did not. Even though my parents had a 42-foot class A RV which was very nice, I didn’t like the lifestyle at all.
My dad stayed overnight at our place and then drove back to the small town in Iowa I grew up in over next two days.
Since then we have been planning the funeral (or whatever we have — she was cremated and has not yet been sent to us), get dad’s finances in order, and helping him decide what’s next for his life.
I’m leaving out many details or this would be a 100-page post. Plus much of this is private. But I did want to share the basics with you.
My mom and I had a very special relationship. She was divorced from my biological father when I was in third grade and she and I lived on our own until I was in 9th grade (when she married my step-dad, who I called my dad above).
While we were only on our own for six years, it seemed like an eternity. During this time we forged a “we can do anything together” spirit between us.
When I got married, my mom became a mother to my wife who had lost her own mom at an early age. The two of them would talk on the phone for a hours, doing this more frequently through the years, especially once my parents moved to the RV.
In the years since we had married, my wife and I (and eventually kids) had vacationed with my parents in Aruba, been on two cruises, and gone to Grand Cayman twice. We had seen them every summer and Christmas while the kids were growing up as well.
I talked to my mom at least once a week, often more, mostly as I walked.
My mom had a blessed life and we were blessed to have known her.
As I close this section and move on with the update, there are some money-related thoughts/lessons from this experience that are worth mentioning:
- Early retirement was a godsend. Two things I never worried about during this entire process were time and money. I didn’t have to fret about getting time off, keeping in touch with the office, dealing with an impatient boss, or anything remotely close to that. I could simply focus on my family. I never worried how I would afford the flights, the hotels, the travel expenses, etc. — they were non-issues. I was so thankful for being retired with more than adequate resources.
- A will was a godsend. We all thought we knew what mom would want, but having her wishes in writing made our decisions much easier as we were simply carrying out her desires.
- Both partners need to know the vitals. What a mess. My mom did everything for my parents — the finances (all aspects), the medicines, the everything. My dad knows very little about any of it. Furthermore my mom did not leave behind passwords, codes (like for her phone), or much of anything else. So we’ve been trying to put together a puzzle and get my dad’s finances in some semblance of order. I think we are 75% of the way there or so, but it took a lot of digging through old paperwork, calling companies, a bit of hacking, etc. My wife handled most of this.
- Life in an RV can be tough if you have medical issues or get sick. RVing seems glamourous to some (not to me) but if you have any sort of medical issues or some sneak up on you, you will be getting healthcare far from home. This might be fine for you, but if you’re the sort that wants your doctor(s), not one from anywhere, it will be an issue. One reason my mom didn’t want to go to the hospital was that she wanted to see her own doctors when she and my dad got home in middle April. But she couldn’t hold on that long and the situation got dramatically worse.
I know many of you will likely leave thoughtful comments about my mom’s passing, so instead of replying to each one below, let me just say thank you in advance for your thoughts and prayers.
Now let’s move on to the rest of the update and mostly good news from here on out.
Life
- My son completed his nonprofit training in Kona, Hawaii and then flew to Cambodia with a team to help people there. He’ll be there for up to four months as long as Covid allows (which is a bit tough now as they are all on lockdown). Time will tell where it goes.
- My daughter, son-in-law, and their four cats moved out of our basement on April 22 (after a seven-month stay). They found a townhome 10 minutes from us and won the bidding war by going $15k over asking (which another couple did as well but my daughter and SIL had a larger downpayment so they were the easier choice. FYI, they put down $30k — much of which my daughter had earned as part of her college incentive — and we matched it). They were lucky to get it as the housing market here is CRAZY. One place they were interested in had 19 offers, most over asking, within the first few hours of going on the market.
- My wife turned 60 this quarter and I turned 57. If things had been different I would have surprised my wife with something amazing like a trip to Israel (she’s always wanted to go there). But, you know, Covid. We’ll see what next year brings and make up for it.
- I have moved to my new upstairs office (formerly my daughter’s bedroom) and am liking the setup, location, and the fact that I have a bathroom nearby. I still have a lot of cleanup from the old office to complete as well as some things to order for the new place (but I have a cat tower and a platform that hangs off the window, so Zeus joins me every day while I work). Haha. As I type this I have a view (over the rooftops) of a snow-capped Pikes Peak and Zeus is curled up on the top bed of the cat tower. Is this heaven? 😉
- We have booked a trip to Siesta Key and Marco Island in October. We were planning on my parents joining us for the former and my daughter and son-in-law for the latter, but with my mom’s passing we may need to adjust that.
- My biological father is getting a divorce (his fifth) and moving back to Iowa. What a mess that had become — he will be happier on his own.
Health
- The schedule with my trainer got messed up as I was going back and forth to Las Vegas, but I’m now working on getting back to him every other week. He gives me a set of exercises that I do for two weeks (3x per week) until our next session. I have gotten a lot stronger in my core and am liking it. I’m also still doing cardio 3x per week.
- I play pickleball at least three times a week in various places — at my gym, at a private, inside court, and at a club with several courts inside. I’ve also taken a few lessons, bought a new paddle, and have actually improved quite a bit. I mostly play at the 4.0 level but would like to get to 4.5. I haven’t played outside for over a year and am not sure when I’ll go back to it. I like having no wind/cold/rain as well as being able to rent a court and not have to rotate (like you do at a public court). We’ll see what happens over time.
- I played in three indoor pickleball tournaments in the last three months. I got second in a mixed doubles tournament, was absolutely crushed in a men’s tournament with a new partner (which made me decide to take lessons), and tied for first with a different men’s partner (though we got third based on tie-breakers.) I’m signed up for another tournament in June.
- I’m still walking and so far well ahead of my 20k steps per day goal for 2021. In fact, I’m so far ahead that I only need 19k a day from here on out to hit my goal. 😉
- Here’s a funny story. I have mentioned a few times that I look young for my age. People often tell me I look like I’m in my 40’s. Well I invited my friend, Paul, to our club as a guest to play pickleball with my regular group. Paul is a couple years older than me but is bald and has a grey beard. One of my regular pickleball friends who had just met Paul asked me if he was my dad. Haha!
Entertainment
- I ordered and completed the Batman Arkham Series on PS4. I had played the games many years ago but these downloads included all the extras I didn’t play (because I didn’t want to pay for them). So for $15 I got 63 hours of gameplay with some games I loved. Not bad.
- I started playing Assassin’s Creed Valhalla for the second time and am currently 55+ hours into it. It’s a very fun game and (of course) I’m much better the second time around. I may need to increase the challenge to “death” level at some point.
- I also downloaded Horizon Zero Dawn for free from PlayStation and will replay that after I’m done with AC. I played it many years ago but this download has a bunch of new extras I haven’t seen, so it should be like playing a brand new game.
- I still don’t have my PS5 but I also haven’t really been looking for one. Between the summer coming (and pickleball heating up) and my mom’s sickness, it hasn’t been a priority.
- I have been reading several money books (both actual reading and audio listening) the past few months which are listed below. I’m still enjoying the amount of reading time I have these days.
- My wife and I have been enjoying both Caribbean Life and Sanditon on TV lately. The latter is a PBS Masterpiece show based on Jane Austen’s last (and unfinished) novel. It fills my need for something Downton Abbey related while I wait for the second DA movie!
Finances
The past three months have been very good to my finances. Here’s a quick update I left in the Millionaire Money Mentors forums in early April as we were discussing growth of net worth over time:
Net worth at retirement Aug 2016 (almost 5 years ago): $3.3 million
End of 2017: $3.8 million
End of 2018: $3.6 million
End of 2019: $4.4 million
End of 2020: $5.0 million
Today: $5.7 million
CRAZY!!!
Update: Later today: $5.8 million. Hahahahahahaha.
We actually ended April with an “official” net worth (I update frequently in Quicken but consider the end of the month my official amount) of $5.9 million. Why the growth? Two reasons: 1) the market has been on fire (including my dividend stocks) and 2) I sold one of my properties (unlocking a lot of appreciation). FYI, I close on a second one in a few days which will add another $200k to my net worth — I have it in Quicken at a value that’s lower than what I’ll net. Point #2 might be a surprise for you and you’ll probably want details, so stay tuned as I’ll have an update in a week or so.
I added two more real estate syndication deals in April so I now have four. I’ll be looking for more as I seek to invest the proceeds from my real estate sales over time. I’m looking for 100% passive income.
My friend who I’ve invested with in private real estate loans told me he’ll be refinancing and likely will cash me out of some of his deals. I can then reinvest with him in other offerings or do something else with my money. Time will tell what happens.
ESI Money
- ESI Money is on fire!!! Revenue is back and better than pre-Covid levels. And everyone is loving the millionaire interviews — which is good since we have a couple more “Millionaire Months” lined up. lol
- Next week I’ll be meeting with a social media marketing guy and will begin planning on offering the Millionaire Money Mentors memberships to a larger audience. I would ultimately like to have 2-3k members which would allow me to add some really cool enhancements. We’ll see where that goes.
- My first course has taken a backseat to the rest of life, but it’s about 90% written at this point. Stay tuned as I’ll announce it on ESI Money first.
- The ESI Money Instagram account gives a glimpse into my life if you’re interested (especially in cat pictures and mountains). There are some of Las Vegas as well plus an old one of me and mom.
Books
Here are the books I’ve read since my last update:
- Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing — Mixed reviews on this one. It had some good information but could have been at least 50% shorter and still communicated everything.
- Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance — Excellent book IMO, though not as strong on actionable suggestions as I would have liked.
- Die with Zero: Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life — Loving half of it and hating the other half. lol
- The Geometry of Wealth: How to shape a life of money and meaning — Just started but it looks promising.
Giveaway
A new money book releases in a few days.
It’s called The F.I.R.E. Planner: A Step-by-Step Workbook to Reach Your Full Financial Potential and is from my friend, Michael, who writes at Financially Alert.
It’s a primer on planning for FIRE and while it’s too basic for me, I envision giving this book away in cases to many people I know. It takes them from zero to FIRE in an easy and thoughtful way and the book looks amazing (very good graphics).
Michael has been kind enough to offer some giveaways for ESI Money readers.
Here are the details of the giveaway:
- We’ll be giving away three books, one to three different winners.
- To enter, all you need to do is leave a comment below telling me what activities you’re looking forward to in your retirement (or what you do now if you’re retired).
- Be sure to leave your email address when you leave the comment so I will know how to reach you if you win (the email address will not be visible to anyone other than me).
- The winners will be selected by me at random.
- The selection of winners will be held on Tuesday, May 4, 2021 (the book’s release date) at noon Eastern time.
- Once I hear from all winners, I’ll provide the names and addresses to Michael and he’ll arrange for delivery.
- As with most giveaways, there are rules. Here they are.
Good luck!!!!
That’s it for this report. Any thoughts or questions?
Dave @ Accidental FIRE says
Very sorry for your loss…
Sion Gibby says
Sorry for your loss
I’m looking forward to loads of cycling in retirement !
Kim Khare says
Hello. My plan is to retire early at 59 and what I have a few things in mind to stay busy, they are as follows:
1) Travel the US & Canada in an RV – both popular and not so popular places at least half of the year; 2) Volunteer more of my time for the issues that are important to me which are a reading program at the elementary school; a local environmental group dedicated to preserving land; and Meals on Wheels; 3) Craft projects and furniture renovations 4) having the time to be more physically active and hopefully by then have some grandchildren to visit:).
Thank you for the offer of this book and sorry to hear about your mom.
planedoc says
I am sorry for your loss,…..thoughts and prayers for you. My mother is slowly deteriorating…I feel she won’t be there long. (the mom I knew is already gone…)
(while not nearly as important…when you feel moved to do so…I’d love to read more of your thoughts on the RV life. So many blogs tout it as highly desirable…I’ve been skeptical as I move to retirement).
As I transition (slowly) to retirement, the thing I most look forward to is simply the freedom of choice.
All the best ESI, as you transition to this phase of life…(where *we* become the oldest of our living families).
Sam says
Thanks for sharing about your mom; always a great reminder of what’s important and the practical items as well (will, end of life directives, passwords, etc). My wife and I chatted about that this morning after reading your post. My thoughts go out to you and your family.
What I look forward to the most is the unlimited time to be outside and do physical activities like walking, hiking, golfing , playing tennis!
Sara says
Sorry for your loss, but what you have shared is helpful and enlightening as we move through life with aging parents.
I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on RV life in retirement. That’s something I am interested in exploring on a part time basis in early retirement. We don’t travel much now and I want to see the beautiful USA by traveling with my home on wheels in retirement.
Samantha says
Very sorry for you and your family’s loss.
Joe S says
Very sorry to hear about your mom. As you said, the ability to travel to her and help your father during that time is definitely a benefit of your retirement. Good advice on the passwords, etc.
I also invest in real estate and plan to do that in “retirement.” It can be a part time job and I enjoy the property management aspect. I’m hoping to exercise more than I do now with a 40 hour a week job, as well as read and travel more. Lastly, I’d like to be able to see my children (and new brand daughter) regularly, wherever they end up living.
Thanks again for the article and,.as always, the ongoing insights.
Bernd Doss says
My heartfelt condolences for the loss of your Mother. Needless to say, but we all shall walk these grounds as life goes on. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the ESI posts over the past few years and am constantly looking forward to seeing the future posts, so keep moving forward, and I’ll tag along. One aspect of retired life I have found, is volunteer work and that fulfilling work is Adopt-A-Highway Program in my State. Gets me off the couch, fresh air and plenty of exercise. Not for everyone, but also interesting. Good fortune to you in your future ventures.
Andrew says
Sorry for your loss. I’m enjoying tennis, pickleball and my new girlfriend coco, 7 month Spanish water dog.
Norberta Noguera says
Sorry for the loss of your mom. She sounds spunky and you were blessed to have her as your mom. May our LORD and savior Jesus Christ cradle you in his arm and comfort you.
Thanks for sharing her transition story. Dying is messy and I’m interested in how to prepare to share digital account information. Secondly, I’m transitioning away from a full time career as a young retiree(50), and want to know if I need if you would give any different advice
I’m looking forward to exercising and less stress.
I enjoy your insightful information
Don Duquette says
My condolences on the loss of your mom. I continue to enjoy the millionaire interviews and look forward to each one.
EngrAtHome says
I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. I share your opinion on the value of financial security and being retired allowing you the ability to spend time with family in times of need. That is one benefit of FIRE I had not planned when I experienced it 6 months after I retired. So thankful I was ‘free’ to spend time with my mom during her final decline.
I celebrate my fifth year of retirement on August 1 as well. So far I’ve enjoyed re-working my lawn landscape, lists of honey-do’s, helping remodel the homes of both of my kids (best benefit was spending time every day for a few months with my grandkids!), travel (until last year). Looking forward to planning travel now for the next year or two. Hoping this Covid stuff is mostly behind us.
I listened to a podcast recently on which a guest reviewed his experience being an executor of an estate. Unfortunately, he had three estates within a year on which he was executor. He outlined the challenges he faced and the differences in preparation for the different estates. That podcast and your story has encouraged me to be more pro-active with having all information available for my estate. I’m debating between a binder/folder or electronic/on line option.
My wife has said no RV life is in our future. Guess it will remain cruising and all-inclusives on Caribbean beaches! I’m good with that.
David L. says
Prayers to you and your family over the loss of your Mom.
I am looking forward to traveling some and working on my house.
retire@55 says
Sorry for your loss, my mom died 3 years ago today, on May Day, which was her favorite day. Your mother sounds wonderful, enjoy your memories.
I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on the RV life, I am in agreement. We found a great compromise this season, we bought at an RV County Club Resort this year. The place we bought into is about 80% Park Models, which is what we bought and is a great compromise for the RV life. We are in the sunbelt and can take off and see many states, we own the park model as well as the land, no rising rent costs, tons of activities during non covid times, as well as free golf, pickle ball and tennis, 6 pools. We have met so many great people from all over the county.
steveark says
My parents had been married for almost 63 years when my mom died a few weeks before their anniversary. My dad died a few years later. Fortunately they had the estate well defined in a will and had almost everything transferred on death to my brother and me in equal parts. I still spent months getting all the little things done. In our case there was a transfer of wealth of seven figures to my brother and me. Money I didn’t need but still it felt like a family legacy passing to me that will pass in turn to our kids along with much more. When all four parents are gone, as they are for me and my wife, there is kind of a profound feeling of disconnection from the past. Things you would have liked to share with them, you can’t, stories you’d like to share about them but nobody you know has any context except your spouse. I think in big families it might be softened by having many siblings but our family was small, just me and my brother and no aunts, uncles or cousins.
Chris says
I’m sorry about your mom. Your perspective on RV life was enlightening, as I always toy with that in the back of my head. I think you hit on a lot of good points though and sometimes as we get older we don’t think about medical care and we should.
My net worth is not as large as yours lol, but I would love to stop working soon. I am 56, so now I am inspired to do so.
Good luck with everything!
Paper Tiger (aka MI-27 and MIU-8) says
Hi John, I am very sorry to hear about your Mom. As I type this, I am sitting here in my Mom’s house after visiting her for the last week. She lives on the opposite coast from me. She turned 86 this week and it was good to celebrate with her. I understand your point about not taking these times for granted.
Congrats on all the progress you have made on many fronts. My wife also just turned 60 and it was great because she received her first full pension check on April 1 so that was a nice milestone to hit. Two good sized pensions that we now both receive are a real blessing.
I loved reading about all of your financial plans and endeavors. You are on a roll and I wish you continued good health and great success! Thanks for continuing to support ESI and bringing great financial knowledge and understanding to the masses.
Jane58 says
So sorry to hear you lost your Mom, you were blessed to have the joy of watching her enjoy the Rv life style and to be able to be there when she passed and help your Dad. I lost my Mom 17 years ago , my youngest daughter was 8 mos old and never got to know her. Life is a journey for sure. So glad she made her wishes known, so important. Part of my retirement plan is to ensure my estate is all set for our executors including a list of email accounts, passwords etc I find it tough when I come across a Facebook account of someone I know has passed away. Those things do need to be dealt with. I have been retired 11 mos and have filled my time with the typical, organizing the house, working with a financial advisor to set up our retirement withdrawal plans and finalizing a budget, being available for our youngest daughters who are 18 and 21 and coping with school and Covid. I did all the work to sell 2 of our properties to our kids. I did not hire a lawyer merely completed the required paperwork, had it witnessed and commissioned by a friend, saved over $4000 in legal fees. I have read nearly 50 books in the last year and plan to continue getting through every single book I have in my house and then giving them away and moving to my Kobo and ebooks from the library. For the first time, I had time to start some indoor plants which will go into the garden. Once Covid ends I will start researching some volunteer opportunities. I want something flexible with no set schedule as we like to visit our vacation property frequently. I managed 23 days of skiing this season, the most I have ever done and enjoyed it immensely. We will purchase early bird season passes for next year.We would like to start traveling once Covid allows it. Likely first trip will be a few weeks to an all-inclusive in Mexico, we’d like to be spoiled for a few weeks. We will start planning a big trip to Australia & New Zealand for 2023. We want to be around home more for 2022 as our youngest will have a tough 1st year in Engineering and we want to make her life as easy as possible so she can focus on getting through the year. Our list of desires and to do’s is very long. Once my husband stops part time work perhaps the to-do list will shorten. We have been out biking nearly every night and plan to keep it up till the snow blows . I then need to design an indoor fitness routine we will do & stick to. No need for a personal trainer as I used to be one lol.
Connie Adachi says
Sorry to hear about your mother’s passing, but great that you were able to be there for the journey.
I’m retiring June 1 (one month to go!), and plan on continuing hiking the East Bay Regional Parks, exploring new ones every week, cycling outdoors (two hour leisurely rides, not rushed), local travel until Covid is behind us, and volunteering with vaccine distribution and other services a couple times a week. And continuing Pickleball!
DC says
Of course, first and foremost: I am extremely sorry to learn of your loss. “[T]he first woman I ever loved died.” Wow! That says it all. Truly. Both the first man and woman I ever loved died years ago (separately). I miss them dearly, but remain grateful they stuck around long enough to accompany me as they did. Your comment regarding the freedom FI afforded you to focus on what needed to be done for family also was spot-on. I am doing a bit of that right now myself. *That* is freedom! In Early Retirement I also get to sleep as I like, read as I like … and, hopefully soon, travel as I like. 🙃
Mark says
ESI–thank you so much for sharing this. I am facing similar issues with my mom right now. If this is God’s time for her to go home, it will be hard to say goodbye to the woman who has sacrificed so much for me and my siblings and my father for so many years.
My wife and I are getting close to retirement, and I am looking forward to more free time to
– get in better physical shape
– travel (considering an RV but my wife is quite unsure about it)
– travel internationally whenever things open back up
– do some fishing
– spend more time with my father, hopefully fishing, and with mom if she is able to pull through
– read
– expand my small garden
Lots of ideas to stay busy, but there are a few of them
Cha says
I’m sorry to hear about your mom- and your dad will need some tender loving care for a while since he has lost his life partner. You may need to watch that he doesn’t start spending irrationally night things he doesn’t need- as a psychological way of trying to fill the void.
I would love to win a book – I’m new to FIRE but live the concept and want to work at it.
When I retire I plan to make documentaries and short films about money education and all the things they don’t teach you at school !
And yes I plan to travel specifically to Australia New Zealand, Fiji and the Galápagos Islands
Keep up the great work- you are helping so many of us and we can pass it on to others
Finally take time to grieve for your mom— mine passed several years ago and Mother’s Day is still painful.
Hugs
Cha
Mike says
Condolences from one small-town Iowa boy to another.
Lance says
Sorry about your Mom. My parents are both heading into their late 80’s and they’re more frail than ever.
I kind of semi-retired last year but still have a boat & rv storage business but it doesn’t take up hardly any of my time. Maybe an hour a month.
So, I was hoping to start playing squash again. After my first game in 15 years my arm was sore but another playing partner popped up and I didn’t want to miss the opportunity so played again a week later and now my right arm seems completely messed up. The sudden exertion after so long not playing must have pulled the muscles in my arm. It hurts to pick up things and bending it hurts and basically I have to rely more on my left arm.
I have an appointment with a physiotherapist but I’m suddenly aware of how terribly unfit and out of shape I’m in. I’m not overweight just having been sedentary for so long has taken a toll.
So, for anyone about to retire and thinking of getting back into a sporting activity…. take it slow!
It looks like I have to enroll in a gym or something and get somebody to train me back into shape again. Apart from squash I’d like to spend a lot more time traveling around Europe with my wife, checking out new countries, cities, etc.
J.R. says
Very sorry to hear of your loss. I had actually thought recently how I hope to be pretty well FI by the time my folks make it to the end. It occurred to me that it will be nice to be able to go as necessary and spend the time necessary without having to worry about the job.
In retirement, I’m hoping to spend a bit more time on some things that matter. I put in a lot of hours at the day job now for things that just don’t matter. I work in manufacturing and a coworker once remarked about how all of our products eventually end up in the landfill once people are done with them. So I hope to spend more time with family, involved with the church and doing some volunteer work.
Thanks for doing the giveaway.
Financial Samurai says
Condolences and congratulations.
Let us all enjoy life to the maximum with what we got.
What do you plan to do with your extra millions now? I’m trying my best to spend my “Boot,” all profits above 10% annual gains. But it’s hard.
Sam
ESI says
I’m working on that. Life is good without spending anything and not sure I want much anyway…so we’ll see.
Jennifer B says
My mother in law died in early March. Boy have we learned a lot in the last 6 weeks!
1. Yes to well prepared plans, lists of passwords, accounts, assets. I also recommend a list of people who your loved one would want contacted when they die. Having that all in place has made all this a lot easier.
2. My MIL was a savvy investor (which you would expect with a PhD in economics), my husband and his brothers will each inherit a 7 digit figure. But she kept it simple. There is one bank, one brokerage account. Everything is in a trust. The paperwork was all in place and we’ve had copies for years. As we got her diagnosis and her health declined over the last 6 months she made a point to get my husband (the executor) on the bank account, get access to the brokerage account. We transferred the car out of her name before she died.
3. We did not find funeral costs/options to be a racket – but my MIL was Jewish. We called up the funeral home the temple recommended and they said “oh, if you are Jewish that makes it easy, simple coffin, nothing fancy”, and we thought the costs were quite reasonable. Same with the burial – we buried her in the Temple’s dedicated space at the cemetery and it was straightforward and not that expensive. No discussion about headstones yet – apparently that doesn’t happen for at least 6 months.
4. We have learned that when it comes to how things work after an account holder dies, there can be a big lack of knowledge. My MIL’s stockbroker has given us bad info twice already. Paying for the advice of an estate attorney and an accountant is smart money spent for us.
5. Sounds silly, but even minimalists can end up with a lot of stuff. If there is an understanding that some things are to go to specific people, put that in writing somewhere, give it away before someone dies, etc. This may not be universal, but we also have learned to look in all pockets, purses, drawers, turn over belongings and do a google search on the manifacturer’s name. My MIL kept the price tags inside or on the back of the art pieces she bought, and we learned that she had expensive tastes, and some of her vintage things are quite collectable!
6. One benefit to Covid was that the memorial was done remotely – family and friends located all over the world were able to join in as a result, and for that we were thankful.
I think we are at the point of listing her home (next week!), paying estate taxes to the state, and then we can start distributing either the assets or the funds from the brokerage account. Having it all well organized and fairly simplified has made this process go much more smoothly and quicker than we had anticipated.
Jim @ Route to Retire says
So sorry to hear about your mom, my friend.
Geoff Wellman says
Sorry for your loss!
I look forward to more travel in retirement.
Mitch Klann says
Happy for you and your family to have such a loving, adventurous relationship with your Mom. It is worth celebrating a life lived well.
I am retiring in 3 years at the age of 53, once my son graduates high school. I have been semi-retired since I was 41 and don’t really see the benefit of doing full retirement until my son has graduated. Am I wrong?
I have a huge bucket list that keeps getting longer and longer. I have been thinking about this since I was 25 and proclaimed to my Father I would be able to retire if I wanted to by age 35 and that prediction came true. Small snapshot of retirement for me is spending 3 months in every city in the world that I am interested in learning more about and possibly living some of retirement in. I plan to follow the seasons but then plan to circle around to those that interest me most to see how it is during the worst part of the season in that location if necessary. I plan to drive the entire west coast from Alaska to the Panama over a 1-3 year period. I plan to climb at least 6 of the 7 highest summits in the world. I have always been extremely philanthropic so I plan to keep doing mission work throughout all those adventures and continue my own Project 40. The Peace Corp and UNICEF is something I an investigating more and more but frankly may leave that for my 80 plus years of life. I also am not ruling out getting my law degree and doing pro-bono work for victims of fraud since I was one myself and it took a big bite out of my retirement nest egg. This is more than anyone would like to read but I pray that I live a good life like your Mom and pray that we all get to enjoy the very most of our retirement years!
DC says
How wrong you are, Mitch! Your message is definitely NOT “more than anyone would like to read” …. unless, I reckon, one wants to avoid getting too jealous of such fantastic and inspiring retirement plans … but then, the jealousy’s on us for not living BIG as you plan on doing. I need to reassess … 🙃 The best wishes to you!! Thanks for writing.
Mitch says
Too kind! I too love this group for inspiring me and showing me I am not crazy for knowing retirement will be one of many awesome chapters of my life as it will be for you! Very few in my immediate circle give it any thought and wonder why it doesn’t happen. God bless you for making my day!
DC says
🙃
DC says
Piacere mio! 🙃
MMiguel says
Very sorry for your loss. And thank you for sharing some of it with us. I’ve been thru some version of what you described a couple of times in the last few years with parents/in-laws – know how all consuming it can be.
ThomH (aka MI-226) says
My condolences for the loss of your mom. I also lost my mom last October, and it’s a very difficult life step. You are right that FIRE made the process much easier. I am so grateful for being able to be there, and it’s a very positive aspect of FIRE that I never anticipated. It’s something I will always be grateful for during her last days and weeks. I’m glad you were there for her and your step dad.
Best wishes for you and your dad, as well as your entire family. The rest is just icing.
getagrip says
Sorry to hear about your mother, even when it’s expected it’s not easy. I was struck by the “been through it before and she bounced back” thoughts since for the last several years of her life I went through that with my mother and her many hospital stays. My sympathies to you and your family.
With respect to retirement plans, I’m still looking at four to five years until I want to pull the cord on the 9 to 5 and with my finances good I’m now getting more serious about what I can and will do activity wise in retirement. One thing I know I want to do, cliché as it may be, is try my hand at artwork, specifically painting. I’d like to do some fantasy work, likely not as sexy as Frazetta or Boris, but similar in that vein (though I am under no illusion I will be as good). I attended some pencil drawing classes in the past when I was thirty or so and did well, and painting is always something I’ve thought of trying. But taking classes (or having an area in the house where I could paint) never seemed to mesh well with all the work travel I’ve been doing and kids schedules over the years and my few efforts on my own have been, shall we say, less than satisfying.
I’d also like to get above an E rank in fencing since that all went to trash with my local club shutting down over the last year or so. Once I’m retired I figure I’ll finally have the time to get more serious and take private lessons so I’m not getting beat down by all the teenagers (or at least make them sweat a bit before beating the old guy). There’s even a longsword class that was being taught locally and I thought that would be interesting to try if I had more time, and hopefully I will. More hopefully I won’t wait until I retire to try these things. But the fencing is something I really would like to continue since I see plenty of folks still fencing in their sixties and seventies.
One thing I’ll likely do because it’s actually on my wife’s list is rent places around the country in areas that we may be interested in moving to and seeing how we like it as we are seeing the sites. The idea is to eventually pick a few and spend a longer time there and then eventually make some decisions on how we want to downsize and where we want to live.
Other than that I am hoping to try various things out in the next few years to see if I want to take them into retirement. To me it’s like when I was a kid again, in the fact that I don’t have to worry about earning money anymore and I have time to do things so within reason the sky is the limit.
Nancy Chu-Meyers says
First I am very sorry for your loss.
I’m not retired yet, but I seem to be having trouble pulling the trigger, even though I’ve reach FIRE. I’ve been thinking a lot about what retirement could to look like, but I still haven’t settled on a plan. I did start a new hobby that I enjoy, but it’s not enough to keep me fully engaged.
Nancy says
My condolences and sorry for your loss. I am actually taking an entrepreneurship program at a local community college to potentially start a second career in retirement.
Dan Emery says
Planning to complete a bucket list of sailboat ocean races.
DR says
My sympathies for your loss! I have lost both of my parents and regret that I was so busy to have not spent more time with them. That regret has made me appreciate and make more time for my family.
I doubt I will ever retire in the traditional sense of the word but will adjust to different priorities. In that time frame I look forward to more time with family, mountain biking, hiking and some travel.
K says
I look forward to increasing my volunteer activities and traveling after retirement!
andrea says
Sorry to hear about your mom. No amount of prepping for it…preps you for the loss I am guessing. Did I miss how old she was?
Farm Girl says
Love and relationships are indelible and precious. So grateful that you had your six year journey with your mom while you grew together! The love affair with God that comes out of a loss of a parent is glorious.
I lost my father — this year— and as I am in nature with a glorious sunrise or sunset — his presence will wash over my soul— and I KNOW how anointed I was to have two of the most glorious fathers. A Heavenly Father and an earthly father whom both loved and loves me unconditionally.
Love and sympathy to you and all that is yours!
Wilkop says
Looking forward to more gardening, reading, volunteering and an active exercise program. My thoughts are with you and your family during this time of reflection and remembrance.
David says
I really appreciate you sharing the story about your mom. So often you hear about disagreements and uncertainty surrounding end of life care and having the advance directive is really the most humane way for everyone involved. Glad to hear she went through that work ahead of time for everyone’s benefit. My condolences for your loss.
For retirement I am looking forward to the ability to continue cleaning up the yard, spontaneously going for a run or bike ride, and increasing volunteer activities.
Sharon says
Looking forward to volunteering and travelling. Sorry to hear about your Mom.
Gary says
Sorry for your loss. Losing a mother is one of the most hurtful things I can imagine. What inspired me about your mother’s life was that she had poor health for forty years yet still was able to have a rich life. I have a congenital heart disease and can get sad about it. How did your mom stay positive in the presence of health challenges?
I left my 9 to 5 job in Feb 2021 at age 59. Now in semi retirement, I choose to do contractual work. I also plan to have a good dose of travel, time with family and friends, some golf, exercise, reading, and more. And to find a cause for volunteering.
MI-145 says
I’m very sorry for your loss. Looking forward to doing some volunteering and hiking as well as spending more time with my son when I reach FIRE.
Amar Patel says
Very sorry for your loss.
I think the thing my wife and I are most looking forward to is traveling and exploring parts of the world that are less fortunate.
Dragons on Fire says
Sorry to hear about your mom.
We were looking forward to a lot of travel during our retirement. Obviously the pandemic has changed that, but we have been on 4 road trips so far in the last year, mostly to do hiking. We’ve adapted and also have been able to up our exercise game (more hours per week spent on it) and have gotten creative by starting a YouTube channel.
Peter in PA says
Very sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom five years ago so I know the sadness you are feeling.
I am looking forward to the freedom and a schedule that I control. I will finally have time to work on my HO scale model railroad which has been gathering dust bunnies the last few years.
Success Triangles says
So sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my mom eight years ago and it was awful. I can tell you it does get easier to deal with over time, but there will always be a hole in your heart. There’s a special bond between mother and son that can never be replaced.
Sounds like you are going through the same thing I did when my mom passed – reevaluating your purpose, finances, health, and relationships. For me, that was one of the most productive things that came out of her death.
God bless you and your family in this difficult time.
– Mark
RI-9/MI-45 says
My condolences for the loss of your mother – may she rest in peace. Thank you so much for the retirement update.
Carlos says
I am sorry for your loss! We have had our share of losses of friends, and relatives in the last year. It’s a difficult time for sure.
Best wishes to you and your family.
I look forward to more travel, woodworking, brewing beer in retirement.
Kay says
So very sorry for the loss of your mama. Sounds like a special lady.
Retirement: late in getting started as life has set backs… but these are set-ups for the future.
I want to be on a beautiful beach, speaking, writing, consulting and training others. Serving Christ. Serving others. Without worry about finances.
$3.0M+ says
Sorry to hear about your loss.
Agree that the funeral business is, shall I say, remarkable? Had to deal with that with my father many years ago. My FIL just passed in March, and we did a direct-to-cremation, bypassing the funeral home and those expenses. Easy, and a lot cheaper.
On your question, I plan to retire at 62 (in about 604 more days, but who’s counting?). We are currently building our retirement house, and I’ll have a number of projects around those 30+ wooded acres to keep me busy, plus get a little more active in the local volunteer Fire/Rescue department. After reading some recent posts and books on staying active in retirement, my wife and I came up with a list of about 17 things we want to do. I think we’re OK there!
Kristy says
Sorry for your loss. We lost our mom (92) as well earlier this year. My sis & I had the opportunity/task/due diligence of being her caregivers (plus another paid caregiver) 2 nights + a week for three + years. We also did shopping, meal prep, laundry, etc- all chores, so she could remain in her home.
Now that she is no longer here, we have the task of carrying out her roles, including managing the family farm (tenant leased). She still managed her meds, finances, etc until her death. Thank God she had her affairs in order, for the most part.
My retirement plans include road trips, visiting our state parks, national parks, friends, travel abroad in a few years. I hope to spend the coldest month/s in a warm climate- the hotter months, we would like to have excursions to cooler climes/mountains, hiking. Volunteering again -as I have not had the opportunity to do as much in recent years while working & caring for mom.
Chris@TTL says
As all others have said, so sorry to hear about the pain but I hope the memory you’ve created of your mother through your writing here—which we all amplify as we read it—brings some happiness to you as we appreciate her and your story in our own ways.
On more positive notes:
“Siesta Key and Marco Island” — been before? We were down to Sanibel, Marco, Amelia, and Jekyll (in GA) for our first flight trip since the pandemic started. We decided on Amelia and Jekyll—we leave on 5/11, very excited.
We just wrote our net worth update which included our own milestone: $2,000,000 (we’re nearly 37). The crazy part, to your point, is the rise from $1M to $2M. It took us just 3.5 years and that’s largely from investment gains as we’re now both working part-time.
Bruce Winter says
I am so very sorry for your loss! May peace be with you!
Retirement has been THE BEST. My time, my schedule, my thoughts and prayers.
Having the time to be able to work on my mind (puzzles and reading)and body ( workout classes and weights) everyday is a blessing
Jill says
I’m looking forward to spending time with future grandchildren and traveling more. I am also looking forward to life being less hectic. With three very young children and working full time, life is crazy at times.
Very sorry about your mother.
K D says
I want to do more traveling and volunteering, as Covid allows.
MMiguel says
Almost forgot to enter the giveaway:
Not quite retired yet, late 50’s, expected FIRE date of 1Q 2022. Have run the numbers backwards and forwards with downside sensitivities for market corrections/recessions, below par returns, higher inflation, etc. showing disaster would have to all hit at once to derail the plan. I do keep checking my excel model out of stubborn disbelief to find a formula error but so far so good.
One irony is that lately new job and/or consulting oppty’s have been coming out of the woodwork… stuff I would have jumped at a few years ago, but now, not so much. Told wife if someone wants to offer me an excessively generous comp package to do some really interesting, non-soul-crushing work for a couple more years, I might bite. But with an asset base north of $10mm (before investment r.e. debt), I feel relatively prepared for FAT FIRE. While there are some changes I’d like to make to our living situation to reduce complexity and expenses, theoretically, we don’t have to change our lifestyle at all in order to FIRE.
My financial bar for deciding whether or not to work another year or two was whether or not it would add at least $1mm to NW. Admittedly, 2 more years of employment, providing additional savings, asset growth, and draw-down avoidance could add $1mm to our NW. For example, our average annual increase in NW for past 10 years has been ~$500K. But on the other hand, life is short, family and giving back has taken on greater priority, and I really need to put a stake in the sand and just do it (retire that is). Maybe I need to raise that work/retire bar.
Probably what I would prefer, instead of more W-2 income would be a couple of board positions (and stock options) with early-stage businesses which would allow me to continue to be in the game and utilize my work experience in an exciting way, without drowning in work hours. I would like the oppty to really hit the $$$ ball out of the park – just because – can’t help it – that’s just the way I am wired.
I am discovering that the way to make retiring feel more like something to look forward to rather than something to dread is to really begin planning how I will spends my time in the first year or two. For one thing, I want to fulfill a lifelong ambition of being a published author – that is something I do not have time to do as a working stiff. The other is that I want to indulge my love of sailing, also something I simply have not had time to do much of. Wife is supportive though I suspect there will be something of a debate on the size/length of the watercraft I have in mind.
Travel is also something I’d like to restart while still nimble enough to do some trekking. There are some family health issues currently limiting our travel, but hoping we’ll be clear of a lot of that over next 12 months. Most of my travel the past few years has been business, which really just means overnight stays, hotel meals, racing thru airports, and staring at conference rooms in far flung destinations. Can be fun but not exactly fulfilling. I envision spending winter months in warm and exotic locales, and even recently considered a +55 community condo in FL (I really don’t want to have to worry about maintaining another stand-alone home). Maybe rental is a better way to go: we can try different locales each winter, and if need to reduce expenses (like in a big market downturn), easy enough to cut.
I’m also looking forward to an improved social life. Nearly all my current friends are work-related in some way. And I would really like to have greater diversity of friends and acquaintances.
Lastly, while I currently sit on a couple of charitable boards, I would continue that work with a greater level engagement, though my $ charitable giving may be reduced by retirement (at least in the early innings until see how it all goes).
Tom says
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Great news on the NW front. That’s amazing growth. Hopefully your real estate holdings don’t include much Commercial RE!
I also had a good laugh at your pickleball hobby. When my dad retired (semi-retired), he took that up as well. It seems to be a huge trend among early retirees!
Heidi says
I am very sorry about your mother, especially with it being so close to Mother’s Day. I am very close to my own mother and don’t want to imagine the day this happens, although others have encouraged me to get ready for it.
I am turning 40 this year and currently work in a non-profit. There have been many ups and downs but am finally having more ups than downs.
I am realizing how busy life is. People ask me all the time how I keep doing what I am doing and I am not sure. This weekend, I think everything caught up with me. I love spending some of my weekend at the park and would think I’d enjoy doing more of that in retirement. I am an only child and divorced, so I enjoy a simple, quiet life. I have used the current pandemic to spend more time with my parents and that has been a great thing. I would love the freedom to choose my days as I want. That’s my favorite part about having time off. Money has not been plenteous since the divorce but I am almost out of debt and finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. This is why I enjoy following you. I don’t know how long it’s been now but my parents even ask why I’m already reading about retirement? They are very frugal so this surprises me. Thank you for everything you do for this community. You have given me hope on more than one occasion.
Susanne Kurtz says
I would love to travel in retirement and help my two children with whatever they need help with. ❤️
John says
I’m so sorry to read of your mother’s passing. I hope that memories of her will help comfort you and your family in this time of grief and for the years to come.
Julie says
Condolences and prayers on the passing of your mother. May your good memories comfort you.
Ellen says
My condolences to you and your family.
I faced a serious family illness, but needed to continuing working for financial and health insurance reasons. It was so stressful (e.g. things like inability to get wifi access in the hospital to finish my work assignments) and really reinforced my goal to retire as soon as possible. I got a late start in saving and investing and am trying to catch up. Dreaming to hiking in national parks and seeing the beauty in the world.
Really enjoying the millionaires series.
Richard Valerio says
I am Sorry for your loss-
Thank you for always providing us with information that we can learn from even if the topic is difficult to write about- You clearly care about our learning-
When I retire I would like to finish visiting all 50 states and finish visiting all MLB ballparks. I am at 18 ballparks and 21 states-
Laura Fawcett says
Thank you for sharing your difficult experiences dealing with the loss of your mother. Your words will be helpful for others when struggling with the death of a parent.
As I transition into retirement, I plan on finding more time for recreation (yoga, biking and skiing) improving our home and yard (including fire mitigation) helping out with the grandkids, visiting family and friends across the country, and getting our financial house in order.
Mike W says
I want to travel and spend more time with my growing children. Sorry about the loss of your mom.
ESI says
The giveaway is now closed.
The winners are:
Joe S
Lance
Nancy Chu-Meyers
I will be emailing the winners. If your name is here and you do not hear from me, it’s likely because a person with the same name won. 🙂
Thanks to all for entering the giveaway! I enjoyed reading your comments!
JayCeezy says
ESI, keeping good thoughts for you. Reading about your Mom and Dad, because I have been reading your sites for 10+ years I feel I know you even though we’ve never met. You have been a really great son, and still are. Getting a little choked up! Well, here is a quote which I hope will put a shine and a smile on the moment…
“When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead. It’s pain only for others. It’s the same thing when you are stupid.” – Richard Feynman
Also, love the list of of books read that you share with us, and because of your enthusiasm I considering pickleball and Arkham. Also, loved the story confirming how young you look. You married well and live correctly, and it shows in your appearance. Be well my friend.
JeffB MI20 says
Here is an interesting podcast about the “death industry”.
https://freakonomics.com/podcast/book-club-caitlin-doughty/
ESI says
Just listened to it the other day. Very interesting!
CB says
So sorry to hear about your mother. It is apparent with your words, the love that you have for her. You will experience times when you need to share something fun, a joke, a laugh or just to chat and you won’t be able to do that. It sounds like your wife will be missing her “mother” as well. Someone stated before, please make sure you check in with your dad as well, no matter how often he says he is okay, a physical visit by yourself or a local friend will be important.
I still miss my parents with my mother going to heaven 8 years ago and I still would like to chat with her. I do remember a comment from her several years after my father passed away, she asked me, “Why do you still work? You have plenty of money, you are young, enjoy traveling. What will it take for you to stop working?” Unfortunately it took her passing for me to realize that we did have enough and we should trust ourselves and retire.
Thank you for sharing the other updates on your life. My husband and I continue to enjoy traveling and trips have started again. First a driving trip to a beach, hiking in South Lake Tahoe soon and then 1 month in Hawaii, hopefully COVID testing will be eliminated soon.